I am currently reading twighlight for the second time and I have to say that I am liking it better than the first time I read it. Plus I am also reading Harry potter book two. Which I have read before and liked so I will probably like reading it again.

buisness

I am almost through with my task of getting information for starting and running an online company, I got all the information and then I translated it into arabic, and I saved it, in a draft of an email which I'm going to send to my husband. Speaking of husband, I need to call him tomorrow, because it has been a while sense I last called, or I could send him a message, soon, I need to make train reservation, I have prolonged my stay, it hadn't been my plan at first, but sense I was giving the green light, to stay as long as needed, but at the same time I don't want to stay to long at the same time. Anyway, as I was saying I got the bit about having an online company, buying and selling online, and I also had information on the common laws of incorporation, but reading through it again, because I had to retranslate it, I realized that it would be a compele waste of time, because A, you have to have, a board of directors, you have to to have a registered name in the state, or any other state in other words, Parterships and Sole propretorships don't count, and so it would be a complete waste of time, to find out what the laws of corporation in the states are, plus you need to have an actual address in the states, but due to the fact, the we don't have a board of directors, the address in the states wouldn't really matter. I guess people don't really count on how much work is really needed to open a corporation, or to incorporate a company, I did however, download a ton of forms, about resigerting a name in a state, registering as an unamerican business, I have to go through all of the forms.
I have told my husband about the trials of starting an offline business and he told me to focus an online one, I did send him an email before in english, and this time it's going to be in arabic.

I have been reading the Harry Potter series backwards again, along with the hunger games, those are the only two book series that I am reading these days.

I have downloaded a lot of music, and a lot of television shows, no movies yet. but I am going to look for Reo, and some more funny movies.

weird happening

So the day before yesterday I went out with my father and we had parked infront of some resturant, and then we'd gone and gotten some ice cream when we got back there was a guy standing in front of our car, of course I didn't see the guy till I got in the car, and he was standing so that he was right in my line of vision, but out of my dad's line of vision, and gave me one of those, "You're nothing to me," type of looks, something along those lines, and anyway, I just got busy with getting my seat belt on, and then just turned and looked the other way. Anyway, that night, in my dream, my mind was making all these excuses for why he acted that way, but when i woke up I couldn't remember any of the reasons that my mind came up with in my dream.

I can finally use my Iphone, because I finally got around to switching it to a postpaid line instead of a prepaid line, postpaid are so much easier, because you can hardly do anything with a prepaid line, the credit finishes really fast with a prepaid line. At least I could never figure out how to make it last longer. for calls. The internet lasted pretty good, but not phone calls, or SMS/

I haven't decided wether or not I am going to be watching the Kardashins reality show on MBC4.  I suppose I will make that decision on Friday. Though to be honest I will probably end up watching it, sense there is usally nothing to watch on Friday, or actually I could just read, till about eleven, and then watch, Teresa, the series I watch on Abu Dhabi one.

shows

I woke up this morning at ten o'clock, did some reading, ate breakfast, and watched some television, and did more reading. I have everything I need to know about the general idea of buisness law, and there are specific questions we can ask a buisness lawyer about. I am now looking at manufactures for a certain product I am looking into. Which i shall not disclose. I started giving shows I never thought to watch before a chance. like the 04 series. I think it's in it's third season. I could be wrong. but that is just a guess.
I'm going to watch the marathon of it, on Thursday afternoon.
That's what I did last thursday, before i decided to spend the afternoon watching the cooking channel, but this time I'm going to watch the marathon of 04.
Because i am curious to see all that's going to happen. and it's only thirty minutes, twenty if you count commericals.
I also started watching Bella, the last season of Gossip Girl, and Chuck.
Well Chuck I have watched before, but it's in it's third season now.

motherhood

One day I would like to be a mother. Whether or not that day will ever come. I don't know. for now it's just a hope, a wish that I have. I know that there is still alot of things that need to be done, before I can become a mother. I also know that when I am meant to be a mother, I will be a mother, no matter, how things seem on the outside in my life. no matter what. if i am meant to be a mother, i will be a mother, so i am not going to bring up the subject with my husband anymore. for now i am going to leave it for time.

series 2

I am hoping that they are going to be showing season five, of the good earth. Because I really want to see what is going to happen in season five.
they are going to be showing Ezel on Mbc four soon, I'm planning on watching that series, it used to come on Abu dhabi drama, with arabic subtilitles, this time i hope it will be dubbed in arabic.
They haven't mentioned season two of Fatima, I hope they are still going to be showing it.
When it ended before Ramadan, they said that it would be returning after Ramadan.
But they haven't mentioned exactly when.
I also want to watch season five of The fallen leaves,

Today is the first day of the Eid holidays. I don't know what I'll be during. Probably the usual watching teleivision, and maybe doing some knit working. I have been doing a lot of yarn work lately. Mostly just practice.

Lately I have gone back to working with yarn. I find it a nice and relaxing way to spend my time. I'm not perfect and I will probably never be perfect at working with yarn. But I can be the best I can be. I'm not there yet. I'm getting on well with knitting, I'm currently working on a baby blanket. As for croteching, (if that is the correct spelling) I'm not there yet. But I am sure I will get there, one of these days. As the saying goes, Practice makes perfect.

He would probably go to Russia and China.

There's nothing new going on in the news concerning Syria, nothing new at all. Just more fighting and killing, and bombing and that is pretty much it.

I don't watch the news anymore, or don't really put it on my scedule to do so, I have lost all hope that things are going to change over there. At least not for the better.

I just read the high lights on the news websites.

Right now, I'm watching, Mary The Angel, a mexican series, dubbed in arabic. it's actually good for me that it's dubbed in arabic, sense I do not understand, The Mexican language.

I don't know what's going to come on afterwards, but if it's something interesting, I will watch it.

I gave another series a try today, about a girl, that was born as a mixed gender, and was raised for the first years of her life as a man, and then she had corrective surgery, and became a girl.

The only Kuwaity series I'm currently following, is heading towards the end. Bader is still madly in love with Hind. But Hind is married to Rashid, her late sister's husband. Her mom, wanted her to marry him, so that she could take care of his children.  Bader's mother, returned to her ex husband, they remarried, and later she found out that she's pregnant, again, and this time she plans on keeping the baby. Her daughter, Budoor, is back with her husband---they never got divorced, they were just living apart for a while. Bader gave his mom an ultimatum, and now only his wife, Afnan, visits her, in her new home.

My Grandfather's house, another series I'm following-----Abu Adel, wants Abo Ghasslan's shop back, and he still doesn't want his son to return, to Mona, Abo Ghasslan's daughter.

The widowed neighbor, married, the chef of one of the neighborhoods, and so far they are not getting on too well, I don't think they are going to stay married for long.

Sabry, Abo Ghasslan's oldest son, wants to marry, I forgot her name.

I think I would be selfish if I have a baby now. Besides if  I am going to be honest with myself. There are things, that I need and want to do before bringing a baby into my life.
Right now, as much as I hate it sometimes, I have to focus on the things I need and want to get done, before brining a baby into my life.
Because babies are a whole lot of responsibilty, and the baby grows to a child, and then a teen, of course, through time.

tv rant

Losing it with Jillian, oh my God, I have never seen a show that is so stupid. Why can't these people figure things out on thier own? why do they need to beg, her to come and show them, what to do, and what not to do.
If you have diabetes in your family, don't freaking eat fried foods, and white starches everyday, get some exersise. because chances are you'll probably get diabetes too. and if you already have diabetes, then eating fried foods and white starches, and candies, are the stupidest things you can do, you don't need, Jillian to come and tell you that.
Needless to say, I don't watch that show anymore. I gave it a chance, cause I was curious, but after watching one show, and a few minutes of another episode, I decided that's it, I will find something better to watch.

learning french

I have gone back to learning French, reading---I think the more I read it, and reconginze the various words and listening to the words while watching french tv, I can learn the right prounacations to the words. I am teaching myself French because I beleive that it's something that will really help me, and it's something I can do on my own. I will probably never sound like French native, but at the least, I want to be able to understand the language, I'm getting there, and learn how to read it. I have always loved learning French, and now that I am not under any pressure to learn it-----It is just something that I want to do. Mornings and afternoons, mostly afternoons, are when I watch the French channel, because of the game shows, I learn a lot of French from watching game shows.

I changed some things in the home, well actually just one major thing, I put the bookshelf with all my books on it, and some of my father's books, which I'm borrowing, in the bedroom. Which I think makes more sense. and now I have more room, in the living room.
Next I want to get a shoe shelf, which I can put by the door.
But before that, I need to get rid of the things that are in the hallway, like the covers of the ac, that don't belong, to the ac's that we have in.
the movers switched the ac's.

It has been a while sense, I stopped trying to teach myself French---I have all the tools that I beleive I need to learn French, and I get the French channel, so I could learn a lot just by listening to that channel. sure I won't understand everything that is by said, but at least, I can get used to hearing the language, and idenfying as many words as I can.
I remember when I first came to KSA, I didn't know any arabic, I learned arabic, by being around arabic. Watching, arabic television, listening to arabic tapes.
Reading, or at least learning how to read arabic books.
Eventually, I learned it, and can still speak and understand it, fairly well.

Las vegas is back on Mbc Action, so I watched that this afternoon. After Las Vegas, I watched, well actually I forgot what I watched. Anyway, right now I'm watching. The Fallen leafs, an arabic series, well techinancally, a turkish series, dubbed in arabic. which is just as well, sense I do not speak, or understand a single word of turkish.

Last night I watched, a little bit of a French movie, with english and arabic subtiles, it would be nice if they didn't break into song and dance ever so often.

the movie was about these eight women, who live in this huge house. One of the girls, fakes her father's death, and everyone starts accusing each other. Her sister, finds out that thier mother had an affair, and she and her sister, do not share the same father. towards the end of the movie, the sister---admits that it was all an act, and that, the father, was still alive and well, but then when she went back to his room, her father, shot himself, and with that, well after a song, and a few more words----not sure about the last part, because I changed the channel, at that point.

Afterwhich, I watched CSI Las Vegas-----one of the CSI's lab techinichians, decided to reopen, the miniture, murderer. a man, that makes minitures, of the murder scense---before he actually commits the murder. 

CSI miami, was a rerun, so I didn't watch it, especially sense it was a fresh rerun.

shows

I am watching a new series on Fox called the Secratery, about a colombian man, who finds out that his has a daughter in Columbia, and so he moves from New York, to Colombia and he accepts a job as a secratery, in order to make money, so that he can financially take care of his daughter.  His daughter lives with her mother, and her mother's husband. Her mother,and father never married.

Another show I'm watching is between love and fear:  about a girl who goes into hiding from her husband, who used to treat her very badly, now he knows that she's alive. The only problem is that, while he thought that she was dead, he went and got married to another women.

another show I'm following is the price of my life: the last episode, of this season, is when gamar's husband found out for sure that he did not father his son. it turns out that Gamar, had been raped by her husbands brother in law, and thus the baby is his. but she had kept it a secret, because she didn't want any trouble.

Then there's the Turkish version of Desperate Housewifes----the exact same storie, with a few slight changes. The turkish Bree's husband died, but not because she poisned him, but because his pharmacist, who happened to be the turkish bree's ex finance----hated her husband, so he purposely gave him the wrong pills.

Master Chef Australia----is down to two contestants----Kate and Michael. I already know who is going to win, because these are reruns.

Master Chef Australia Jr. eight have gone through to the next level.

I want to get married.  this is another show that I've seen before, but I enjoy watching it anyway.

CSI----is my favorite, as well as Criminal minds, The amazing race.

Gossip girl

I am currently reading, Shopaholic abroad outloud. there's a postive side of not having a working tv. and that is that I can read without being distracted-----and I can listen to my tapes. Lately I have been listening to the biography of the prophet-----it turns out that he was posioned. That's what I understood. Anyway, it's all very interesting. I'm almost through listening to it. I haven't decided what I will listen to yet. Maybe about the day of Judgment---or some Quran recitation. I have already completed reading the Quran---my first time this year, and my first time, i have completed it cover to cover---outside of the holy month. My prayers aren't going so well though. This is a constant struggle, I was born muslim---and yet I still struggle. I have good days and I have bad days.

I have printed out all of the needed papers for immigration, so that my husband can see for himself, exactly why I cannot sponsor him to immigrate to America. And so he doesn't think that I just don't want him to go to America. Why would I stop anyone from going to America? if he wants to go to America and he can find a way to go to America, fine with me. It honestly made me feel so angry when he said that. I hate having to constantly repeat myself, now I have the papers all ready, and everything. It turns out that just being married to an American is not enough to be able to immigrate to America and get the green card. I don't know why I get this gut feeling that I am only a convince for my husband, It's probably just the devil speaaking. Anyway, So I have already done what I can do. What confuses me is that they say you can send the I-130 application from outside of the united states and its terrotories, but you have to pay them by money order from an American bank, how am I supposed to do that from where I live. So on the website it says to contact your nearest embassy to find out how you can pay for the petion. So I emailed the embassy and told them that I need to pay for the i-130 petition, which I will be sending directly to America---to the united states citzen and imigration services, and I am waiting for a reply. I hope that if I can at least do that, we can figure the rest later. Except the Afvidativ of support, that is the biggest issue. Because while my husband can be a joint sponsor, I have to show that I to get sponsor him. And I have to prove that I have paid three years worth of taxes. Am I just supposed to go to America for three years, work, so that I will be able to pay taxes. And then what is going to guarantee me, that I will even be able to find work in America? Especially with how the economy is going. God help me.

"I can give you the money to pay the taxes." "It doesn't work like that I need to have a job, and I need to show that I have paid taxes in the last three years." "You can be a joint sponsor-----meaning you can add your income to my income, but as it points out---I need to have my own income." "Which I obviously don't have, sense I don't have a job." "I need to have a permenant job, (the money I make and the money you make----) both need to come from the same source, after we have immigrated.) So if I get a job over here, and we go to America, I will have to leave my job over here and get a job over there, and you would have to do the same thing, meaning that requirment won't work. "MY friend is telling me one thing, and the lawyer is telling me another thing, and you are telling me yet another thing." "I am only telling you that I cannot sponsor you, I have told you the reasons why." "I don't think you want me to immigrate to America." "I did not say that, I just said that I cannot sponsor you." "What about business based forms, where you can sponsor yourself." "I don't need that." "See you are depending on me to help you, I'm giving you a way that you can go to America, without me having to sponsor you, and you are completely against it." "Just type up all the requirments that is needed, the most important form is the family based form." "Fine, but I keep on telling you, I cannot sponsor you." "Please just type up the requirmeents needed print them out, and we can discuss them later." "Fine," "I get the feeling that you don't want to do this." "That is not it, I have been through this so many times, and I have told you that I cannot sponsor you." "You and your father are wrong if you think that America is a dream to me." "Don't put words in my mouth, I don't know what my father said, but I never once thought that America was the dream place for you." "My friends are telling me that I need to protect myself, America will protect me." "God is the protector."

I was going to call my husband today, and just agree to have Breakfast together once a week on Saturday, but then I decided against it, and just decided that I would just call and see how he was doing, and it turns out that he was already at work. What the hell? I send him a message at seven in my morning, and he just goes to work!!! I mean I understand that he's under a lot of pressure, but he's the one who suggested that we have breakfast together every morning except for Thursday and Friday's. and now he's only having breakfast with me on saturday, this is just getting on my nerves.

frustrated with myself

I hate to admit this,but I can be slow sometimes or at least of delayed reactations to things. I guess, well no I don't want to guess. Because I don't know what to guess. I mean, I'll see something on tv for example or someone will say something, and I will think nothing of it, and then suddenly after some days, sometimes months, I'll find myself thinking about what was said or what I had seen and I'll sudden understand what the other person meant. I am finding this very frustraited. Because a lot of times, I will be focusing on what the person is saying, without really understanding what they mean or on what's happening on tv, or in a book, and then I forget about it, or I ponder over it, and come up with a conclusion some days later. I guess it's really no surprise that I always needed extra help in school. I hate to call myself stupid. But right now I do feel stupid and what's worse, is that I feel slow. This really isn't easy to admit. I'm not saying that I want to be perfect. because I know that is impossible, no one, can be perfect. All I want is to be able to grasp and understand situations as they arrise. To understand things I've read, things I've heard, without having to ponder over it for days till it finally clicks. I hate when people give me annoyed looks when I don't grasp what they are saying at first even though I will be trying my best to understand what they are saying. I don't know if anyone will understand this. I'm banking on no. But if your someone out there who understands what I'm going through, then I can honestly say that you are not alone. I get frustraited with myself at times. Frustraited that I forget words, forgot what I'm going to say in midsentence, and quickly move on to an other idea, while leaving the first idea just hanging there. I sometimes remember what I was going to say, and go back to the orginal topic and sometimes I don't. In fact a lot of times I don't go back to the orginal idea. I love reading, but I cannot remember anything that I read while I'm reading. I'll read a story without any distractions and I will still forget the names of most of the characters and thier storylines. I start my own stories, and sometimes forget what the story is supposed to be about. It's a work in progress. I didn't make a resoultion list this year but I am going to start one, My goal, is to do my best to grasp situations faster.

Today I told my husband about the DVD player. I told him that it doesn't work. And that I have been trying to solve my dvd players problem, the one on my laptop---because it says it's working fine, but for some reason it won't play dvds, so I am thinking that the dvd player or that the dvds need to be cleaned. I had some chinese and red tea today. I didn't have any green tea, I may have some later though. I was thinking of having some coffee, but I am not a big fan of coffee anymore. I used to love the stuff. I use to have it in place of meals. Which got my dad worried, and he got rid of all of the coffee, but later coffee was bought back, but my eating habits where always watched, or so I thought, any slip up, and the coffee would be gone again. I didn't have any and the coffee remained. in fact they still have coffee from when I was there. because none of them, like black coffee. I don't like when I call my mom to chat for a bit and she starts playing a game with my sister. So every few minutes she starts talking with my sister. I just think that if you want to talk with me, then don't go and start playing and engaging in conversation with somoeone else. I mean she could have just said, "alright, your sister's home and I promised her a game of scrabble, I'll call you back." or whatever. you know. something.

I have been reading and favoriting a lot of blogs recently. I have recently favored blogs, talking about computer sytems and programs. I don't understand why I find learning about computers so interesting. I guess I just want to pass my time doing and learning something. I like reading fashion blogs, baby blogs, (parenting experiences blogs) eating disorders (mostly weight loss blogs) which go in two categories, those who are going about losing weight in a healthy matter and those who are going about it, in a none healthy matter. I like reading blogs, where people just talk about thier life in general, and thier ideas. I like knowing other people's thoughts and ideas on different things. I also like to read review blogs. Even reviews on things I'll probably never get---unless of course I get a job, which, is next to nill now. So I will be a writer. (Don't laught now, wait till I've left the room.)

I finished reading Stop whining and start living, and got a lot of good tips and ideas that I hope to discuss with whomever I can discuss and share it with. One of the most profound tips I got from the book, was that, everyone is entitled to thier feelings and we should never, put down anyones feelings, we shouldn't let them feel and deal with thier feelings as they see fit. Also we should learn that constant, whining and complaining about our situation is just going to push people away. and that we need to forget about the past, as in put the past behind us, espeically as children, as children, we don't get to decide how our parents or guaradians raise us, we don't get a say in any of it, in whether they divorce, or stay together. but when we become adults, we have a choice, we can make our own choices, based on the present and not based on the past. alot of people close up and hide thier feelings because of thier childhoods. but that is wrong. Living in the past, and reacting to the past, and judging people, based on the little kid in you is just wrong and its not going to get you anywhere. I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be perfect. I have days, in which I let the angry little girl in me take control over my emotions and my actions. However I am working on it. I have made a conscious choice, to leave the past behind me and move forward. That is life, if you dwell in the past, you lose your present. and the present is all that you have.

I was watching preacher moss on youtube. He's funny. and then I watched Azar Uthman, he's funny too. One commentor kind of got on my nerves though, because he or she was like, "this religion is a serious thing and he shouldn't be making money and making fun of it." first of all i watched the clip, and he wasn't making fun of it, he was relating what he and many men who look like him go through when it comes to going through security at an airport in america. i don't understand why some people just don't get that. Before watching those two comedians, i watched maz jobrani, he was funny too. What I don't get though, is one time he describes himself as middle eastren and then later as persian, and then middle eastren again. i heard that there's a part of iran that is middle eastren, which part, i don't know. but i have been told that there's a middle eastren section in iran. i read stop whinning and start living, i have a chapter to go before the final chapter. i'm thinking of finishing it up today so that i can go back to reading the running man and then the eighth habit, or i might read a chapter from the eighth habit by steven covey, and then read five chapters of the running man. my bedtime story as i like to call it, is the queen of babble. after reading stop whinning start living, i'm thinking to read, how couples mess up thier relationships. i have so many books mashallah---that sometimes i find it difficult to choose which book i'm going to read. i don't plan on getting any more books anytime though. i didn't see any bookshelves in that store. anyway, i would rather buy one from ikea anyway. or any place else that sells bookshelves, maybe saco. i haven't gone to saco in a really long time. it was sometime in septmeber i think, yeah, when my dad and sister came over for a short visit. i got a dish rack, which is a good thing, because there's no place for me to dry my dishes in this place, in the other place, the two sinks had an extention and so there was a raised servece to put the plates on and so i would dry my plates, but later i got the dish rack and noticed how much of a difference that it made. i also got some kitchen knifes, actually those i got from another place, from panada. my family hasn't seen this new place yet. though i already know what my sister intially thinks of it. she wonders why i agreed to move to a smaller place. but in my mind, i think i moved to a better place. besides i was only using two rooms in the other place anyway, i would always forget to clean the third room, because i was never in it. i can't forget to clean any room in this place, because i use all three rooms. what's the use of having an extra room if you are not going to use it. now some people may wonder, "well what if you have a baby?" simple the baby would sleep with me in the bedroom, and when it got older we'd look for a bigger place. but really a baby isn't on the agenda right now. we have more pressing matters than having a baby. babies need lots of care and patience, and i want to have a bit of a life, as in going out places, before a baby comes into the picture. because i know from talking with my husband, that as soon as there's a baby in the picture that's it there's no going out. i hardly get to go out without a baby. which is something i need to talk to him about.

we are not perfect.

We are not perfect yet we expect others to be perfect. We make mistakes and expect others to forgive us, but we never admit that we make mistakes. And when people ask us to forgive them for thier transactions we hold back. We remind them of thier past mistakes. We count the number of times they've made that same mistake. And yet we make the same mistakes over and over again, not towards people, but towards the creator. And when we repent the creator forgives us and gives us another chance. He doesn't tell us, "you have made this same mistake x number of times, be careful." He forgives us with open arms (figure of speech) He doesn't make us feel bad for making mistakes, because he knows that we are unperfect, because that is the way he created us. He created us to make mistakes, so that we can go back and repent again. And sure we may make the same mistake numerous times, but we always have faith that when we repent, God, will be there to accept us. We are all humans, we all make mistakes. none of us are perfect. So who are we not to forgive another person's mistakes?

I was checking my laptop yesterday, I went to my computer, and saw, removeable storage, and DVD drive, the removable storage hadn't been there before. I am thinking that it went back, after I went to search for hardware from the control panel. I am hoping that and the fact I redownladed the hard drive---the DVD hard drive, that it will play and read my DVDs again. I have no idea why it stopped. The DVD drive and the CD drive---because I have both, could have disconnected. I read in another place, that it sometimes helps to clean the lense with rubbing alhocoloh, where can I get that here? would perfume work? because I know that perfum contains high amount of alhocohol. I don't know. I really want to be able to watch my DVDs again, and I want to be able to fix the problem myself, because I really don't want to spend anymore money. We've already wasted money on the DVD player that doesn't work. I'm going to be taking that with me, and see, if they can do something with it. if not then the last restort, is to replace it, what else can I do?

I went to sleep at eight last night. Well I didn't go to sleep right away, I read a chapter and then I fell asleep with the lights still on. I should use that lamp, that we have. I think I'm going to use it tonight. Anyway, when I woke up the lights were off, so I thought that maybe I had turned off the lights and forgotten because I'd been tired, and I have done it before, or maybe the lights had burned out. So I got out of bed, and tried the bathroom light, the bathroom light, and fan, and heater, weren't working either. The water cooler---heater in the kitchen wasn't humming as usual. And so I just went back to sleep. When I woke up, everything was back in working order.

I am hoping that they will install the satilite soon, so I can catch up with all the series that I have been missing. I'm "dying" to know what's going on in all of the shows that I'm following, both English and Arabic. I miss watching all of my television shows, so I am really hoping that sometime this week, or next week----mostly this week though, that they will hook up the satilite.