1

Well I'm up and ready to go to the store this morning. I just hope he doesn't disapoint me, by not coming. Because this time if he comes late, I can tell him that I've been up sense eight thirty, well eight twenty two. Dispite the fact that I went to bed at midnight, well after midnight, and I was waking up all hours of the night to go to the bathroom, note to self---never drink tons of liquids hours before you go to sleep because that's what ends up happening. You end up getting up all hours of the night and going to the bathroom. Anyway at least it wasn't freezing last night, so today is the first day of 2010, that looks so weird, 2010, it even sounds weird when I say it aloud. I don't know what this new year is going to bring, but here are the things that I hope it will bring---A well paying job, a house---a girl can dream can't she? a treadmill, and a kitchen----yes, I don't have a kitchen. I have a fridge, and a stove---that's all I have in the kitchen---plus the washing machine, but washing machines have nothing to do with the kitchen, and the only reason the washing machine is there, is because it's too big to be put in the bathroom.

Chess

What I don't like about the chess game on my computer, is that when you redo a draw, the computer still counts it as a draw, even if you redo the draw and win. So I spent a long time trying to win a chess game, and I finally suceeded. I watched a youtube video that explains opening strategies for chess, but I didn't really understand anything of it. Okay I did kind of understand some things. Here's what I know about Chess----The soliders can only move forward and attack diagonily, thier objective is to protect the king--thier stronger together, in a link that looks like a upside V or an upside down V, the knight, moves in L form and attacks in L Form, The castles--or Rooks, as some people call it===move in a striaght line anywhere on the board, so if you want to keep your piece, never leave it in the line of castle, or if you have no choice, at least postion another piece to eat the castle place. Then there's the bisbob, these move diagonly, and attack the same way, then comes the Queen, being the strongest piece it can move in all directions, and attack the same way, I find that the game gets easier, once, the Queen is dead. Last of all comes the king--who I've learned can only attack, if there's not a piece that would be in its direction, if it attacked the piece. the main key is to kill the queen first, then the knights, then the rooks, which ever comes first---though I prefer killing the knights first, because they're tricky, and then the soliders---the main point is to keep the soliders from getting to end of the board, now it's important to avoid easy kills, and let a solider take one or two of your soliders before attacking.

I need to write up a new CV, but I have no idea how I'm going to go about that. I have no job experience what so ever. my husband told me that he would get me CV templates I could work with, I've been looking for CV templates online, with no luck. I'm really frustrated about this whole thing. Now I'm feeling discourged. Who would want to hire someone that doesn't have any job experience? the thing is I want to get my foot in the door, but I don't know how to go about doing that. How do I write a strong CV, something an employer will take seriously. I don't want them to read my CV and think, "Oh she can't be serious." You know what I'm saying. Anyway, I'm going to search for Entry level CV Templates, I'm bound to find something eventually.

I may be going back to Riyadh today. I don't know when I'll be back online again. I'm sure they haven't bought the modem yet. How stupid is it, to have a line but not have a modem to actually enjoy that line? I just hate that. So I'm taking as many DVDs as I can. I'm not sure what time we're supposed to be going this morning. but we're supposed to go sometime this morning. I think my father just woke up, though I;m not sure, he may have just gone back to bed. I hate that he stayed up till two in the morning when he knows that we're supposed to be leaving in the morning. I wonder if it would be safe to go driving while its raining, I don't think it's raining that bad. You know when it's raining badly when there's lightning and thunder.

Here's what I don't get is if someone knows that I'm here in Dammam visiting my family, why don't they call and arrange a time to come see me? Why do I always have to be the one to arrange a time for someone to feel obligated to have me as thier guest. At least my friend called and invited me over back in Riyadh. And one day when everything is all set in the Apartment is all ready, I'll return the favor. Seriously it gets on my nerves. Or how the only reason they invite you over is because they want you to teach others english. I don't mind helping people, I just wish that someone would invite me over, would arrange a time to see me, because they feel pleasure in seeing me. I mean am I really that horrible. That no one can just call on thier own and invite me over? I understand that people get busy, but I know for a fact that these people invite people to thier home, so it's not something that just isn't done because they are too busy.
That just has me annoyed right now. If she wants to see me, she can call.

The style network is so fake. I hate it. I don't even watch it anymore. Except for The dish, but then I'm getting tired of the dish too.

89

Let me get this striaght, it's okay for you to call me stupid, to call other people that deep are stupid, but it's not okay for me to call someone stupid? That's being a hyprocrite.
My sister is constantly teasing me, because I don't like to spend a lot on clothes. But now I'm thinking that I may have to fork out a little more for something dressy, but I would rather bargain hunt, before I rush in and buy anything. Speaking of clothes, I need to wash my clothes today, I'm going to check if the washing machine is free, because if it is I;m going to use it.
My dad has no interest in going back to work, and that has be worried. I told my dad
that I was interested in going into realaste, but the only problem is that I have no idea how to go about it. I noticed that when you take a shower everyday, you feel the need to take a shower every single day, you can;t even go a day without taking a shower, and even though the water, in the guest bathroom is freezing, I still have to take one every single day, I used to shower, one day, and skip the other day. But now I have changed that.
Lets see what am I thinking at this very minute? Why hasn't he called me yet?

90

My friend gave birth to a healthy baby girl last night, making her an Eid baby, because she had her after magrab prayer.

In other news, we went to Bahrian today and I got a DVD of Here's Lucy, and a Golden Girls DVD, both where 300 riyals, which isn't so bad. Then I got five pairs of undergarments for seventy riyals. Which I thought were a good bargain, I;m going to get about five bra's Saturday, from the Sarabele place, I want to go there instead of going to the mall, plus I can buy clothes from there as well, and I seriously don't want to spend 109 riyals on a cardigan, I think that's just too much. At least in my opinion.

I'm watching I love Lucy, season one, episode two, the room is hot, because the air conditioner isn't working, the switch burned. anyway, my stomache feels weird, its been feeling weird sense I got up this morning. At first I thought that it was feeling weird because I was hungry, so I had some frozen cherries, and a bowl of cream of wheat cereal and my stomache still feels weird. I always get this way when my husband goes out of town. Plus I'm thinking about my degree, and how they're going to evaulate my report card. They said they couldn't now, because it was too dense, well then they should take care of that. My dad didn't spend thirty five thousand dollars, for them to darn well tell me that my degree is too darn dense for them to get is Euivilant from another college. Anyway, I think I might just register in the MUST university. First of all its completely online, and it's less pricer than that university. And I'm sure thier transcripts wouldn't be dense. I mean seriously, they do the mistake, and I have to sit here and pay for it. Well I want to have a good talk with those people.

45

I have a headache. He says that I've lost some weight. But I don't see it. I feel the same, anyway, I should be hearing from him in about thirty minutes, or something, or probably at seven. So right. I guess that's all I have to say right now.

I got my suitcases all packed, I don't think I'm going to be putting the bags of books in boxes, I'm just going to keep them in bags, I think that would make it easier to carry down the stairs and into the car. Anyway, inshallah he's supposed to be getting here today.

Tonight my sister and I went to the mall. We went with Taxi. My sister got a pair of shoes and a mini skirt---I didn't get anything---I didn't see anything that was worth while. I figure if I'm going to buy something it should at least be something worthwhile. I got some grocericiers from Carfour---nothing big, and I treated my sister to Sushi----the service wasn't that good---the waiter wasn't very friendly like the waiter we had the last time I went there. Anyway after the sushi meal my stomach started to bother me, so I'm not going to have Sushi again. My sister doesn't beleive this. She says the next time I come back for a visit that I'll take them to the Fushi resturaunt----but she's wrong. Anyway god willing he should be here tomorrow afternoon---so I'm going to have all of my things packed into a suitcases. I'm going to pack what I can into the suitcases, and the rest I'll just keep them in thier respective bags. Oh well I was disapointed that I didn't see a single thing that I liked. Well on a postive note---at least I didn't spend too much money today, and my sister and I didn't get in any stupid arguments.

I'm happy right now. Very happy in fact I got a new DELL laptop today. Because they couldn't fix my old Laptop. which was an ACER/ I was going to get a notebook, but notebooks don't have DVD drives. and well I need to have a DVD drive---in the case that my husband takes centuries to get me a television and DVD player. So yeah, I just love everything about this Lap Top. my dad's the best.

Things I loath doing:
Waxing it's such a pain. But there's no other way to remove hair and get a really smooth service for a long time.
So all in all it's worth all it's pain.
To alieve the pain, I do little sections every hour or so. Because I can't stand to do it contiuesly. I'm such a baby I know.
Going to the dentist---it's not a place that anyone likes to visit---but it's something that has to be done.
Asking for help in stores, I hate asking for help in stores---like asking if they have my shoe size---I try my best to avoid that, by going to places where they sale the shoes in pairs, instead of from those stores that only display one member of the shoe.

I'm listening to Whose wedding is it anyhow? Anyway I don't know what I'm going to be doing today. I was thinking of going to the mall. Because I need my coffee fix. Yeah once again I've become addicted to coffee-but not as much as I used to drink, these days I only get coffee whenever I go to the mall. Anyway I usually get a normal sized coffee, but yesterday I got a tall coffee, it took me a couple of hours to finish it, because I'm a really slow coffee drinker. Anyway my sister and I got into a little tiff before going to the mall but once we were at the mall she was really sweet and she got me a really nice skirt.

The weirdest thing happened when I my sister and I went to the mall. We where sitting on one of the benches in the Dharan mall waiting for the driver to come pick us up. When this Bharni guy and girl come---they seemed like boyfriend and girl friend---or maybe married, I'm not sure--they seem like they were getting along at all. From thier body language it was clear that they'd gotten into some sort of disagreement, but that's not the weird part though, the weird part was when he started staring at me, and then she started. I'm thinking what is? No one ever stares at me. Except today for some reason. I didn't do anything different today, but today I noticed it more. Oh yeah went to Jareer and picked up my bags, no questions asked. But then had to walk around to get out. I hated that part. And the guard was staring---whatever. I'm a married women, so it makes me uncomfortable when some guy stares, especially if they stare while I'm with my husband. Speaking of which I should message him, I miss him very much. I sent him my CV so I hope he gets to it. Anyway I think he's in Riyadh now. (My dad that is) Oh my dad never notices when someone stares, for some reason he thinks that if a girl is covering her hair, that automitcally stops guys from starring. Speaking about covering the hair, this lady told my sister to cover her hair in arabic, so my sister acted like she didn't know arabic and then the lady told her, 'Please cover your hair.' she had the cutest accent. And then she walked on her way. First of all, I don't think it's anyones busniess to tell anyone else what to do. So tomorrow we might go to the Rashid mall. I keep on forgetting to buy make up brushes. Anyway I got an outfit last night and tonight I got a skirt. Anyway my sister finally got her MANGO purse. I was going to pick up a doughnut from Krispy Kremes for my brother but than I forgot all about it. Anyway, my mom and I are thinking about walking to the Shata mall tomorrow morning. Just a thought. I cotemplated walking to the Farm store, this morning because I was really craving peanut butter cups, but then I decided I would wait till my mom woke up and than we could go together, but my mom didn't wake up till after one, meaning it would be way to hot to go walking to the Farm store.
Speaking of which I never heard of the Farm store till we moved back to this area, we had been living in a further area when we first came back to Dammam. Yeah a long while ago we where in Jeddah, than my dad's company relocated him to Dammam, we stayed for a year in Dammam, than my dad got a job in another company that lasted three years about---that was in Riyadh, then he got a new job that lasted a year and then he got a job back in Dammam, so we moved back, first into a compound and then into an apartment. Which is were my family is still living. There's been some small talking about moving to a compound---but it's not something I think is going to be happening anytime soon. My husband for one is completely against moving to a compound, he beleives they're too risky, especially the ones in Riyadh, I don't know about the ones here in Dammam.

My latest addictions:
Black coffee from Seatlesbest.
Green Tea---Lipton mint flavoured
Polyvore
Blogs

I got a miss call from my husband I don't even see how I missed the call in the first place. Unless he only let it ring once--Anyway my phone's charging now so I'll message him later. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. My stomach is bothering me as usual, and so is my head. I really don't know what's wrong with me. All I know is that I want to go home and the sooner the better.

Why is it that the peoplee here seem so engrossed in judging everyone else and they forget themselves? Why is that we must conform to thier ideas, to what they think is right? it's not like they conform to our ideas or what we think is right. I don't like doing something just because everyone else is doing something. I don't want to wear a colorfully decorated abayah just because everyone is wearing a colour decorated abayah, I don't want to carry around a three hundred riyal purse just because eeveryone is doing that---when I say everyone I obviously mean girls.
Anyway, I just hate it when someone comes and tells me, "Oh you have to wear this, and buy this, because they'll think your poor, they'll think you're low class if you don't." Well screw them they can think whatever they're going to think. I'm not going to spend thousands trying to impress people, who could give a rats ass about me.

I'm really annoyed with my older brother right now. HE NEVER REPLIES to anything that I send him be it an email, or a wall post on FACE BOOK and he NEVER replies. I see that's he's replied to other people's wall posts, but he just completely ignores mine. I feel that he doesn't like us anymore. Ever sense he married that girl, he's changed, and not for the good. I don't even know her, but I hate her.

So they gave him the prize=--to encourage him. Mark my words NOTHING is going to change, the troops aren't going to leave anytime soon---that prison is NEVER going to be shut down at least not anytime soon. Only the RICH are going to get any Real Justice, or health care. Only the RICH and wealthy are going to be able to have a good education....This is depressing. I'm ashamed of my goverment.-----What a shame.
But I will always love America---just not the people running it at the moment.
But Obama is giving the arabs and muslims a false sense of security.

Next top model

I'm watching True Holywood stories about Next Top Model. I never watched this show. Only because they're not showing it on any of the channels. I'm hoping that they'll put it on Style, or E though. It looks really interesting, although maybe a little stupid, but it's kind of interesting seeing how people act without scripts. It's way different than watching a scripted televison show, where everyone knows what's next, and who's going to say what. But I wouldn't go out there and buy a DVD set of the show, I don't think it's that interesting. Actually I can't really say that, because I never really watched the show, so I can't really say whether or not it's interesting or not. I missed my arabic series---because the showtime kept going out. Anyway, I want to see all the seasons, in one of the seasons, a girl fainted.

Find me on Polyvore

I read A beautiful mind yesterday. Finished watching season three of Hero's. Seriously I never thought that I would be interested in a show like Hero's I don't usually go for shows like that. But this show is different somehow. I guesss it's because it's not predictable. Most of the shows I watch are very predictable, but this show, is full of cliff hangers and exicting storylines. Anyway I'm waiting for them to put up season four of it, I want to see the contiuiosness of the last episode of season three. Well scratch that not all the shows I watch are predictable, only the sitcoms.

favorite tv shows

Favorite current televison shows

Hero's
I love lucy
CSI
House
CSI New York
My wife and kids
Home improvement
Criminal minds
Bones.
Tyler Perry's house of pain.
How do I look/

Bride Wars ---random

I'm watching Bride Wars. Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson star, and that lady from Third Rock from the sun also plays on it, but so far I think she only has a small role on the movie---though I could be wrong about that. So don't quote me on it. I hate how once I turn off the A.C the room gets really hot and then when I turn it on, the room gets really cold really fast. There's just no winning. We where supposed to get the screens fixed before I got married and they never got around to it. Anyway, I hope my dad comes back with some good news from Jeddah, I've been worrying about him lately. Anyway I might start working right away when I get back to Riyadh inshallah. I've been thinking of going back so much lately. Anyway I hate Galaxy bars, Galaxy milk isn't that bad, way better than thier bars or candies.

The invitation.

Thursday I invited my family out to the Sushi place. While we we're waiting in the food court on the new side for the resturants to open my dad suggested that we go to the Chinese resturant, but I said no, that I wanted to go to the Sushi, and sense I was the one doing the invitation than it was my choice whether or not I wanted to go to the Chinese resturant or not. Anyway we went to the Sushi resturant, there was only one other family there, than they left, and then we changed tables, than another two families came. We didn't order much, my sister ordered a mix that she and my mom shared, I think I'm going to get that one next time,except next time I think I'll try Tony Roma's, anyway I got salmon and Avecado, the first time I have ever tried Avacodo before. I got the bill, and was happy to see that we hadn't spent as much as I thought we would. Anyway, I am sure that had we gone to the chinese resturant I would have easily spent five hundred. I know this because people always open thier appetite at the Chinese resturant, practically ordering everything on the menu.

For the life of me I cannot get onto my Wordpress account, I get to the front page, I put in my information, and then it takes me to this page that says, Internet explorer cannot open this webpage. Which I find annoying, so I try refreshing it of course and get the same problem. I need to get some more antioxdiant pills. I know eatting plenty of fruits and vegetables would be good too, but I don't think it's enough. I guess you could say that I rely a little too much on pills. But that's just me. Some people cannot stand to take pills, I don't mind taking pills, as long as I know what they're for. Anyway.

Not much going on lately. I need to some work outs, which I'm going to go do now.
okay, i did some light excerise, of course I'm no where's being done yet. I just like doing a little excerise, in a contiues line---not making sense, I know.

To be honest, I'm very annoyed right now. according to the book I just read that your supposed to eat five times a day, that just doesn't make sense to me. Five meals a day, seems to much to me. At least that's my opinion.

So my husband calls last night and tells me that he's got plans to go to Jordan. I know he has friends in Jordan, so it's not a surprise that he wants to go there. Anyway, god willing when he calls tomorrow, I'm going to ask him, when plans on coming back to dammam, because I really want to go home. Don't get me wrong I love my family, I just want my independence.

I wanted to finish the translating chapter eight, but at least I'm half way through it, and it's not taking me as long as chapter six took me, which is a good thing.

I'm glad that Doctor Phil is back on. I was starting to worry that they wouldn't be putting him back on. But they did. And that makes me happy.

So it seems that his on his way back to Riyadh---because his syrian cell phone appears to be off---because the mesage didn't go through----then I know that the Syrian phone lines are nothing to brag about. Anyway I know it's not my phone, because my sister used my phone today to call her friend and ask her if she wanted to go to the mall. Anyway, I hope that he's okay inshallah....Most likely he should be heading back tonight, in fact he should be on his way. So inshallah I'll hear from him sometime tomorrow. For now I'm just going to live life.

20

I wonder if my dad actual took my Laptop in or if it’s still sitting in the back of the car. I hope they can fix it. Now if he’d only call up the people I’m translating for, I have five more chapters left. If I was ambitious enough I would do a chapter a day---but that’s getting a head of myself, but I suppose it could work through. I don’t get what the deal with Dry Shampoo is, I just googled it, I’m going to see what it says. Dry Shampoo is made from the following ingredients: include corn meal –corn starch---talcum powder---- not all of them together, you choose one and go with it. These ingredients are supposed to grab the dirt in your hair and make it shiny. You can add hair oil if you want to the mixture---it’s pretty messy, so I won’t be doing it myself and I wouldn’t advise anyone out there to do it either. I heard that there’s been a Tsumnami in Some island that’s owned by America. The internet is going really slow. And I’m really starting to like this keyboard I like the fact that it’s got a wrist rest on it, unlike the normal ordinary everyday keyboards that my dad always gets. Some people can be so mean. These people left a ton of mean comments on this girls YOUTUBE page. I mean if you don’t have anything nice to say, or you don’t like the person’s video’s just leave, go on to another page, that’s easy to do right? But no some people just have to bash on others for no good reason. I hate that my phone is so quiet. I’m watching another episode of Cheers===Yes I’m having a Cheers marathon, because there’s nothing on television. Nothing at all-----at least nothing that I want to watch, in this episode Fraiser Cranes mentor goes out with Carla. I started watching it before but then I got side tracked. So the mentor proposed to Carla but she turns him down. In other news my dad forgot to take my laptop to the shop, so he’ll have to wait for Saturday to take it to the shop.

Today I woke up at two, I tried to go back to sleep, but I just couldn't. So I went and took a shower instead. I'm listening to Cheers in the backgroud. Because nothing interesting is on television. My dad paid the phone bill yesterday but today they disconnected us. Ironic isn't it? I don't recall the dream I had this morning. I went to sleep around nine thirty this morning, which is earlier than yesterday. Yesterday I went to bed at eleven in the morning. I might go to the Dharan mall later. Or maybe not. But I think I will because the walking will do me some good. I started reading slim down for life. I finished reading Strength finder two point o. Now I'm feeling a little tired. But I don't want to sleep now. My cell phones sitting on the table quietly not a beep has come out of it.

"They forgot to take smart pills."
"I refuse to pay 122 dollars for something when I get buy it for fifty."

"Look I apologize for running late---I didn't realize you were so close to home." Andrea told Mike after Mike informed her that he'd been waiting for her for thirteen minutes. "I'll think about forgiving you." Mike replied in a serious tone as he made a turn at an intersection. "Suit yourself, I don't care if you forgive me or not." Andrea replied, she wasn't going to beg him to forgive her for being late. She had said she was sorry and that was all she could do.
"So you don't care if I forgive you or not, it's not important to you?" Mike aked sounding offended he'd been hoping that Andrea would be groveling seeking his forgiveness instead of being indifferent about the whole thing.
"That would go against me beliefs." Andrea replied coldy. She felt angry with Mike for not forgiving her right away. She knew if the tables had been turned she'd forgive him, without so much as giving it a second thought.

Later that night Andrea was watching television and something funny came on, she wanted so much to laugh but Mike was constantly telling her that she needed to change her laugh that she laughed like a little school girl. This always confused Andrea because she didn't know how she was supposed to change her laugh. in her opinion a persons laugh was something that came natural.
so when the funny scene came on she did her best not to laugh as not to evoke any
commentary from Mike.
But one day she lost it and started laughing at a scene, Mike rose his eyebrows,
and said in a serious tone---"Stop laughing like a little school girl you are a married women now."
Andrea looked confused, "How am I suppose to change my laugh?"
"Put your hand over your mouth, you don't want people seeing your creaked teeth."
Mike replied, he didn't say it to hurt her, he said it because he cared.
"Oh am I going to offend people with my creaked teeth?" Andrea asked angrily.
"Calm down there's no need to get angry, I'm only trying to help you." Mike replied.
"No need to get angry when everything I do and say is wrong---when I can't even be myself, because I'm supposed to transform into this other being---to adjust to what everyone else wants and ignore myself in the process, how can you expect me to be calm, when I can't even enjoy myself or speak my mind, because I know if I do, you'll get offended. how can I enjoy myself, when I'm constanttly made to feel stupid, I wish you wouldn't tell me something and then say it was just a joke, because that makes me feel stupid, because I really want to learn." Andrea replied,
by now tears were running down her cheek, she felt very lost and confused.

Where do you go where no matter
where you turn your feel lost?
What do you do?
When you feel that everything you do is wrong?
What do you say?
when you feel that whatever you say is wrong?
where do you go?

I hate how I feel right now.