Sometimes I wish I had a ton of Crayons and Markers, and a huge Drawing pad, then I would just sit and draw pictures all day. Hey there's nothing wrong with wanting to have some nice clean fun. Now is there? I think not. So the next time I go to the bookstore, I may just buy those things. Give my mind a break from reading for a while--- but I will read till I go to the bookstore, I don't know when that will be. That's just how I feel right now. I feel like I need to do something fun, something out of the ordinary.

I'm in such a horrid mood right now. But there's this funny movie on right now. So it's taking my mind off things. Well not exactly, I'm still angry over the whole Supper Debasacle, if only the Oven worked. He didn't like supper, and practically starved himself all day or so he says, only to find out that what I made wasn't that good. I feel bad about that. Plus I'm annoyed that I still don't have my treadmill.....I've sent my resumes, and still haven't gotten any replies from any of them. They can at least reply with a no. They don't have to say yes, but the least they can do is aknowedge that they've recived my email.

When I went food shopping on Saturday, I had in mind an idea for a meal. But come today, I find that I have a whole new idea, mostly because of the lack of pots and pans, I have one of each, and some dishes, you normally need to have two pots, one to make the rice in and one to make the soup in, and so I decided that I would just do a whole new Chicken soup, using Potato's and Carrots. Next time I'll make the other dish, after I at least get one more pot.Things sure would be a lot easier if I had a kitchen.

The hardest thing for someone that doesn't have a job, is to find a job. Looking for a job is easy, with the help of the internet, a person can simply, find companies online, and send them thier CV, but the hard part, is the waiting to get a response from them, and then being rejected because, You don't have any experience. I just really want to find a job, the last thing I'm going to try, is clerical work in a school.

Walk on a river, climb a moutain,
Hug a person you love.
Tell a person you love them before it;s too late.
Shed some tears,
Rememeber that we're all human, and that just because
you happen to cry doesn't mean that you're a baby,
it just means that you're human,
and if someone can't handle, you being human and having
Feelings, than that's thier problem.

I didn't even turn on the television yesterday. Thursday I totally forgot about make it or break it, I'm going to check if someone has uploaded any video's on Youtube.

I finished reading Skinny Bitch in a day, now I'm reading an absolute scandal, next I plan on reading Malika, The book of fate, little women,
the gate house, the twelveth card, and the second book of the maisons, well techinically I am reading that book but lately I've been taking a break from reading that book.

I organized the bookshelve, the apartment spells weird, like this burning rubber smell, but now it's gone. Wonder where it was coming from.....Hmmmm, not much going on, took a shower, dried my hair, couldn't wait all day for it to dry. Tomorrow inshallah.I'll be doing some grocercery shopping myself for the first time ever. so that should be different, I just hope there's no really long lines at the cashiers. I need to call my friend and verfy with her for tomorrow, cause I have already varavied with my husband. Now lets see what else is there? contiue watching America's next top model on Youtube.

I feel sorry for children who's parents are crackheads, and have to be taken care of by other people.

Here I am.

I just finished reading Plain Truth. I want to get the tenth Circle, also by the same author, as a matter of fact, I want to get all of her books. I love her writing, and I love that she has questions at the back of the book, so it makes it easy to really hammer in the thoughts in my mind, and it would make really good, for a book club. To bad I don't know enough people that like to read. Next book to finish, is Broken Prey. Yesterday I finished reading Lovely Bones. I think I went to bed, at around seven thirty last night, and woke up at one forty five, washed my face, with my Himayla face wash, my face has gotten to be dry----even my T-zone, has become dry----now I'm going to have to get a different Face wash, a creamy face wash, or just something for all skin types, because my skin---is constantly changing from dry to combination, to oily. I wish it would just choose a type and stick with it.

I have a goal, to go without watching teleivison for an entire week. I know that I will be missing a lot of my favorite shows---but last time I watched them, I couldn't focus on them anyway. And besides, it won't kill me to miss those shows-----,I'll make allowence for Youtube---as long as it;s working, it's been on the brink lately----so for the most part this week, I'm going to be focused on reading my novels, and polishing my writing. After all as the cliche, goes, practice makes perfect.

no television.

I didn't watch any television at all on Wensday, it stayed off all day long, and you know something it didn't feel weird having it off. Of course I found noise elsewhere, I love Lucy DVDs, watched, the first disc of season five, watched some Youtube, it was working okay at first then, it just stopped working---well not exactly but it started acting all weird on me. So that's when I popped a tape in the tape player, just for the sake of news. Right now I'm listening to a tape, as I write in this blog. A tape I think I got in Jeddah, back in 2001, or 2002, I think. I kind of remember it, my Grandma was going to Jeddah, and I wanted to go to, so at the last minute my dad found me a reservation, and I got to go with my Grandma. I was worried that they wouldn't be expecting me, and that they'd be angry that I'd come, but they weren't. it turns out that my dad called my aunt beforehand. So the second day we were there, we went to this vacation house, that had a swimming pool, we spent the entire day there, I swam, ate, and had a really good time with my cousins. Though it bothered me that I was the heaviest one amongst my cousins, so that's when I decided to lose weight. I always have to remind myself, that I shouldn't compare myself to others, because my body isn't built like their bodies, I don't have really small bones, like they do, but still doesn't not an excuse to eat whatever I please, and then sit around and do nothing.

67

I'm bored right now. I just had five hours of sleep, and I can't get back to sleep. I went to Applebee's last night with my dad, didn't like thier hot chocolate---the service was fast, but I did like thier triple layered chocolate cake. That was delicious. Went to Safeway----and forgot to get Garbage bags, seriously I don't know what's happening to my brian anymore, I thought reading was supposed to be making me smarter, not forgetful, but I did get some other things that I needed, no junk food items, even though that was one of the reasons I had wanted to safeway, for thier American Candy, but now I'm glad I didn;t get any, and in the end I wound up, not spending very much so that's a good thing. The store was pretty empty, then it was after eleven, so that's understandable. I tried to call my husband and tell him that I'd be going out with my dad---but he never called back, and so I figured, I'm going to be going with my dad----no one strange----and I'm going to the store to get the things that I need.
That is all folks.

8

Nothing much happened yesterday, I spent the entire day in bed, woke up, at seven or a little before seven, about six forty five, talked with my friend for a couple of minutes, didn't make any plans to go visit her yet, I want to wait till I'm feeling better, health wise. I've missed three episodes of the Simpson's so I think I'm going to make a day out of watching them on Thursday, now if I could only remember what time they game on. I think sometime around two pm, probably, if I'm not wrong, which I hope that I'm not.

I believe that I have matured a lot sense I've gotten married. For example, on Wensday, I went with my dad to the Mobily store, to see how many points I had on my phone, I never got to find out because thier systems where down, Anyway, before I get to that part, I was sitting with my dad, and then my dad got up and went to some desk, to ask about the points, I got up to follow my dad, but my dad said to stay, so I stayed, then a few minutes later this young saudi guy, working there, tells me to go sit with my father, no normally I'd give the man a mean look say something under my breath and walk on, but this time I just said okay, and walked on my way. But the thing is later I got really peturbed with myself, because I knew that I had to get up anyway, but waited for some man to tell me so, cause I don't have a damn mind of my own. I hate that.
I hate myself right now.
bye.

Perfect strangers.

Hello everyone. I'm sitting at home. Listening to Perfect strangers episode nineteen season three on Youtube in the background. In this episode Balki graduates from night school and passess with a perfect score, but is crestfallen when he finds out that there isn't going to be any speach. But in the end he gets to say his speach, which makes him very happy.

my thoughts on the new scanner.

I object to the new scannner machines they've got in some if not all Airports in the united states. That is just too much. I don't mind them going over my body with one of those little rod things---the kind that beep, if you're wearing anything that has metal on it. Well if you go traveling you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. But when it comes to standing in a little booth, and being seen completely naked, that is a virtual strip search, and only common criminals, and shady people should be subjected to. I wonder if the search goes for all people or just certain people. How good is the new scanning system, when it detect, the christmas bomber? Something smells fishy in Denmark.

I cleaned most of the apartment today. I think I'm going to orgainize my books, putting all the authors of the same books in one pile. That's how freaking bored I am right now. I don't know if he's still going to be going to Syria next week or not---like Monday or Tuesday, I haven't gotten a chance to ask him yet. I'm currently reading some Fearless books, The devil wears prada, and all the things that you need to know. I like the fearless books the best out of the books that I'm currently reading right now. My scedule is all messed up, and I still haven't gotten any help on my CV, I give up. I don't want to work anymore.

names

Favorite names-------
Reem,
Rita,
Rose,
Ellie
Carrie
Samantha
Debra
Mandy
Gloria,
Eleena
Dora
Cara
Cindy
Cynthia
Casey
Tony
Todd
Timothy
Alice
Micheal
Michael.
Donna

Jessica
Heather,
Anne
Anna
------------------------------------------------
Those are the names that I use in most of my stories.
Of course nowadays I've started to use other names.
But most those names, are the names that I've used in
Stories, of course there are a few names I haven' used
in any stories yet, but I probably will eventually.

very annoyed

I'm feeling very sick and annoyed right now. I want to leave this country. Everybody I know is leavin this country. Either they are leaving or they are going to leave. But no I'm just stuck in this country. Stuck in the same box. I hate it when people tell me that you should leave the country, to get out of the box. But they don't take you. They just keep you hoping that they'll take you, but they never do. And I hate that. I hate that he gets to go to Syria practically every month, or every other month, and I have to stay stuck here, in KSA, I just want to go out of the box. That is why I feel so annoyed right now. Plus I'm not feeling that good either. I think I'm coming down with a flu, cause I have a headache, a slight stomach ache, and my bones are sore. Anyway, He'll be going to Syria, sometime next week inshallah, I really hope I can find a job before he goes to Syria, so at least I won't be stuck at home all the time. You know I'd have a job to do, even though it's going to be a job, within the same box, that I so desperately want to get out of. And I do not count spending ten hours in Bahrain, as getting out of the box, because when you go to Bahrain, all you see are Saudi's and I'm thinking I didn't leave Saudi to see more Saudi's. But times, I just feel so desperate to get out, that I don't see who I see on the other side as long as I get out of the box. That's what I want to do I want to get out of the box. I'm hoping that during the Summer I'll get a chance to get out of the box. There's been some talk about going to China, though I don't know when that is going to be. I'm hoping that after Jeddah,we're supposed to stay there for three weeks, inshallah, I could probably go visit my Aunt,and cousins, anyway, I was thinking that we could stop by in Dubai, or Bahrain, on our way back. Yeah, like that;s going to happen. I might as well just own up to the fact that I'm going to be stuck in this box, for a really long time. And I hate it. I hate watching people leave, and come, and go as they please, and here I am just stuck here. And once I start visiting or people start visiting me, all they'll ask, "Do you travel anywhere during the summer?"
"No." "Why not?" "Ask my husband."

Right now I'm feeling bored. Bored and fat, so I'm excerising. Taking a break from exersising now to type here. I'm doing some reading as well, something to kill time, while I wait for the Youtube video's to upload, sometimes they take a really long time to load. I played three games of chess yesterday, and won all three games, I must say I'm getting much better at playing this game. So far I've done about three hours of workouts. But I've been taking small breaks, so that's no so bad. I haven't had any diet drinks in such a long time. I think the last time I had a diet drink was somewhere in the middle of December, or maybe before. It feels good. When I went to Applebee's when my brother came to visit, I got juice, I always order Juice from Applebee's, I love thier selections. I got some Hair oil, because my hair tends to get really dry. But I don't know whether your supposed to put it in, before you shower, or after. I remember I got my hair styled in Jeddah, and the lady mentioned something about using hair oil after the shower, and not washing it out, so I think
I'll do that.

Watched Bride Wars, liked it.
Watched Bridge to Terabethia, liked it to. But found it kind of sad.

8

Okay, no one reads this blog anyway, so if I make mistkates, it doesn't really matter. I suppose having a non famous blog does have it's bright side. I was half expecting to recive some stupid comment on my last post, or any of the posts that I've put up. In other news, mashallah, my friend's baby girl, just keeps on getting cuter, she looks so smart to, like she knows, what people are talking about. Anyway, I love babies, but find them intimitating. I guess that's weird. My sister held my friends baby girl, I didn't hold her. The only babies I've held, where my cousin's baby's, my siblings and that's all. I remember when I was five, and had the chicken pox, it was on the holiday's, my brother got me a really cute cloth doll, I miss that doll, it was one of my favorite dolls, sense I got married, I gave my dolls to my sister, and the rest, have gone to my mom's room, on top of that one closet, that we store junk in. Anyway, my dad's in town so I might see him tomorrow. I really want to get a job. I'm supposed to be getting job applications tomorrow, or the day after, or whenever. The thing is that I want to work, but I don't know what I would be quilifed to do? Because I've never had a job before, and I took a career test once and found out that, I'd be really good at writing. But I don't beleive that, my writing, isn't half as good as the books that I read. At the same time though, it has gotten better over the years. I'm working on some new novels these days, I have some other ones, saved on a hard drive, from my former laptop, that I heard is now
Working again, I told my mom that she could feel free to use it, because, obviously I won't be using it. When I got it back, after my dad had taken it to the repair shop, they'd changed the cord that I'd used for it, I don't know why, my mouse wasn't working, and neither was the sound, I got so frustraited with the whole thing.
My mom is the person I turn to when I get really frustraited, but sense I've moved here, I don't always turn to my mom, cause usaully when I feel frustrated I don't feel like talking to anyone on the phone. So I just cry alot when I'm frustrated, or bored out of my mind, and there's nothing to do. Oh my husband told me yesterday, that, we live by a lot of nice stores, but they're all on the other side, if I have to cross any streets to get to them, then in my book they're not close. Close by car, okay, but not close enough for me to walk to. I don't know, sometimes I get the feeling that my other little brother, doesn't like me. I could be wrong about that, I hope I'm wrong about that. I really love black eye make-up, I just love how it makes the color of my eyes really pop out. it's like when I wear black eye make-up, my eyes, looking really brown, and not black, except, if I'm standing kind of far away, then my eyes look black. But they're really just dark brown. Some people call that honey color, but my eyes aren't honey colored. I want to go to the mall this weekend, I want him to take me out to a mall. But first I want to get some things that I need from Saco. I don't want to go to some cheap store, for kitchen stuff, that's only going to last a couple of months, I want to get the top quilty, so you pay now and save in the long run. I already got somethings, now I need to get other things. I have a ton of vegetables, I think tomorrow---today, I'm going to make some boiled potato's, I don't even know why he bought so many, it's not like I asked for any, oh why didn't I buy any salt? I have butter, but no salt? What was I thinking.D'oh, I wasn't thinking. I love watching the Simpson's I watch it everyday.
Yesterday they finally showed new epidoses, I was really glad about that. Um, what else? I should be getting a treadmill today inshallah. I really hope so. And I guess
tomorrow, my husband should tell me about his decision about moving. I'm for moving, but in the end it's going to be his choice, obviously.

980

A list of books I've finished, other than the books that I've already mentioned in either this blog or my other blog, Falling for you. I'm currently reading, Princess in Training, and the undomestic housekeeper. Reading that books makes me want to get Twenties girl. I'm hoping to go to Jareer sometime this year. Inshallah next Friday I want to go to Last chance, cause I need to get some winter pajama's.

2

I finally got some cleaning things for the apartment. My husband told me about an Apartment last night, and showed me the location of it, it's not that far from the apartment that we're staying in now. I like the location way better than this apartment, for one thing, there's stores down stairs, that I could go to if I need anything, plus it's in a quieter area, which I think is another plus. What I think makes it most worthwhile, is the fact that the rooms are bigger, our rooms are kind of small, kind of! they ARE small, and it has a kitchen already installed, sure it's not brand new, but what's the point of having a brand new apartment when you don't have a kitchen and you live in a bad area, that doesn't have any nearby stores? So yeah, I hope that he doesn't give up this chance, and takes it. Because we'd be paying the same price we're paying here, plus we'd save thousands on a new kitchen set from IKEA.

Here's how I think that the series---things that look like love---- is going to end--- I think that that, That Deena's going to have her wedding party, thier uncle is going to move back in with the family, Rabab, is going to get married to some guy.
As for the other series----under the madas---I don't know what that means, I'll have to ask my husband.
I already know that, Shadi has aids, his sister divorced her husband,
but here is what I guess is going to happen next, afafaf, is going to be killed. The doctor-- who she was married too---before he divorced her, because his mother didn't
think that she was good enough for him, is going to get married, to some other guy. The lady with the short hair is going to get married to the doctor.
Here's what I think of Afafaf's brother shooting her,, first of all, what good is
mudering your sister going to do? it's not going to make any difference, just like Sharar, said, his two sisters had done the same thing, and they had killed them, and it only made matters worse, and they ended up having to leave the little village that they where from and moving to another village...Second of all, she was married, sure it was only witnessed by a Shaik, but it was a marriage nonetheless, and Thafer had the papers, and Abu Zakwan knew that, but tore it up. But he was only interested in the money---I'm glad that he gets shot at the end of it.