I'm not interested in any of the presidental candiates---for the U.S. So I probably won't be voting for any of them. I can speak all my views on these people, because I never voted for them. I went to the bank sometime earlier this week, and was told that my account has been frozen, because there hasn't been any activity, so then I told them, that I had never been sent my bank card and the lady at the bank said that they would resend my bank card, and so I gave them a pin card, for the bank phone and for the card, and now I am waiting for them to send me the bank card, right now I can have people send me the money to my bank account, but I just don't have a bank card to get money from the bank. Anyway, that is one adverture I've had. Another adverture I had is when I went to the Beauty center with my sister, and tried to be nice, but was treated coldly back, and I'm like whatever, you can't make friends with everyone.

I went to the sea with my sister and father, where I was supposed to meet fellow syrians, I only liked two of them, I didn't gain anything from the meeting because I already knew two of the Syrians and then a Saudi girl came, I know her, because her husband is friends with my dad. I started having a good time when they came. We visted them last night, and had a good time. I feel bad for her mother in law though---health problems.

I sent my hubsand an email. hopefully He'll see it this morning. Because I tell him that I'm going to be awake for breakfast and that my phone has been cut off. I wanted to email him earlier. but my internet wasn't working. I wish I had messaged him about the whole breakfast thing earlier. Honestly I was not expecting them to cut the line off so early. Because they had told me that I would have till saturday, so I try to send my husband a message and didn't it go through, there was no sending, it was message failed, and then my phone conversation with my mom just lasted less then a minute and when I tried calling again, I got, "You have exceeded your credit limit." I don't even understand how I have a credit limit, when I use a post paid plan.

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When the channels on the satilate box went out, I started changing the frequencie's using the numbers that were already there. and for a while nothing worked. for a while I could only get nilesat to work, and then that wouldn't even work, and I was starting to lose patience with it, because I had lost patience with it on Thursday and had thrown the remote control----its fixed now, and I never want to break it again. And then, finally, it went back to the orginal frequency that I had put. Because it wouldn't go to any of the frequency's listed. I seriously don't understand that. So now, I can only watch the mbc group, and mtv, and one tv on one channel, because I don't get nilesat anymore, apperantly, because that is where the doubles of the channels that I watch. Anyway, it's not a big deal, the point is at least I get those channels, and I practically fixed the problem myself. This morning, I had a dream that had a daughter, I knew it was my daughter in the dream, because this guy, in the next car, goes, "She gave birth to a blonde haired girl." I have no idea how my daughter is going to have blonde hair? But I guess stranger things have happened, anyway, I think there are people in my family that have blonde hair. Anyway, I thought it was interesting that she was the spitting image of my sister. I look very similar to one of my aunts and one of my cousins, so it kind of makes sense that in my dream my daughter looked exactly like my sister. My dream daughter that is. Anyway, it probably doesn't mean anything, but whatever. I am watching Blind date on fox series, next is master chef australia. But its going to be a boring epsisode, my favorite epsiodes are the ones that they have the mystery box. Those episodes are the most interesting episodes. Although I don't find the likes of tonights episode interesting I am still going to watch it. Last night I went to bed at two in the morning, and then, I woke up at six in the morning.

I hate that I am missing the biggest loser, and all my other shows, such as Top Chef, Master Chef Australia, The doctors, Doctor Oz, my turkish series that I follow-----not my personal series. Good movies that are probably showcasing on MBC Max, Top Gear------only because they're comical, in a smart way. I like smart funny people. I hate how I am probably going to miss all of my shows, I got into watching this week. Who knows when I'll get the reciever fixed. Probably not in a very long time. I am downloading some updates for my computer, so that I can play my dvds. I want to get a dvd player. I really wanted to take a shower today, but on account that there's no running water I can't do that. I also hate that I'm missing the british version of Paris Hilton's new best friend. And that I'll be missing I used to be fat. Now how am I supposed to be inspired to lose weight or workout? This would all be good and fine, if my Ipod worked, but my ipod is dead.

Oh my god, the drama----of Paris hilton's BFF, the British version. It seems like everyday, someone is against someone, there is always drama going on. This week, the drama is between Emma and Cat.

Honest

To be honest, Steve Jobs death, didn't sadden me at all. I don't mean to be mean or anything, but I've got to be honest. I mean sure it is a sad thing, that the world has lost a creative mind, but that's life, we live and we die, its just the facts of life. I am sad for his family, because they more then anyone, have to live with his loss, they're the ones that have to grief his death. I know that if I was related to him, or at least knew him-- and not just knew about him, I would probably be sad for him. But right now, my heart doesn't ache for him. Though it aches for his family, because they are the ones who have to move on after his death. I heard this interesting quote on a movie, and as far as I can remember it went like this, "Don't worry about those who have moved on to the other side, worry about those who they've left behind."

I watched some I love lucy episodes, when I couldn't get the television to work. I was afraid that the tv, would never work again, and I would have to rely on DVDs, that may or may not work. That is never fun. I wouldn't say that I'm addicted to television, but I can't stand the silence when it's turned off. Although, I have gotten into the habit of turning everything off, when I go to bed for the night. I used to keep the television on, when I went to bed, because I could watch the television from the comfort of my bed, I can still do that, but I choose not to. Yesterday, I got to bed at a half decent hour, I got to sleep at seven thirty in the evening, and woke up at three fifty in the morning. So that is good. it's good that my sleeping patterns are getting better. Today, I want to curl my hair, I haven't curled it in such a long time. I am hoping that my hair curler will actually heat up. Last time, it wouldn't heat up, and I like to beleive that it didn't heat up, because I didn't give it enough time to heat up and not because it's no longer capable of heating up. Last time my family came over, my mom, sent some books with them, and I still haven't gotten a chance to read those books yet. I plan on reading them soon. I honestly don't understand people who say, they don't want to go through the system, but then want to get in contact with a lawyer. Why do they think that a lawyer isn't going to follow the system! I will never understand thier logic. Anyway, the lawyers pretty much said what I've already found out. That came to no surprise to me. I was just thinking of something, but then it completely skipped my mind. I hate it when that happens. I am trying to find another way, that my husband and I can go to the united states together. I know one of the ways, and probably the only way, is to go on a vistors visa. I wish he could apply for the k3 visa, while I am here. I have found a website, that sends you all of the forms that you need to apply for Green Card, and helps you to prepare it and everything. I'll be sure to suggest it to my husband. Well if he thinks, he can live outside the united states for more then eighteen months, and still get his american passport, I would love to see him try. Because he just won't listen to me.

Right now I'm watching the Break up. I watched it yesterday, but I had it muted, because I was talking with my mom on the phone. and then I found something else more interesting to watch and thus I missed the ending. So now I'm watching it all the way through, because I want to see how it ends.

Dream, new look

This morning I decided to do something different, I put on eye shawdow. I usually, only cover my lashes with mascara, and then, sometimes I like to line my eyes with black kohl eyeliner. I don't do that so much. though I need to practice applying liquid liner. Sense I got a liquid eyeliner, a while ago, I've only used it a few times. And those few times, I had a difficult time with application. As they say practice makes perfect, or as close to perfect as I can get. I also put on some lipstick, I love the nieva lipstick, I have this really lovely pink color that I haven't used in a while, and so I thought that would be a lovely change. I used a brown and taupe eyeshadow palate. I also styled my hair in a different way, which I thought matched with my make up choice. I know, you all may be thinking, a light pink lipstick, and brown eyeshadow, but it looked really nice, and was more like a brown smoking eye, and I think brown and pink can go together, depending on the tones of each color. Anyway, I really liked the outcome. I have this dress that I really like, but I can't wear it yet, because I don't like how it looks on me. So I've got some pounds, inches I need to shred, before I will feel comfortable wearing that dress. The hardest thing for me to do these days, is find something to wear. Sometimes I literally feel like starving myself. But then I wonder what I would do with the rotting food. If I could go out and throw it myself, I wouldn't bother. But there's more to it then that. I know logically that if I starve I won't have the energy to workout. my body, will go into starvation mode, and I'll have to work extra hard, to burn what little calories I do take it, because, my body will turn it into fat. So I have got to be sensible about this whole thing. At this point in my life, I don't want to think about starting a child. Though, it's always in the back of my mind. And my dream of a few days ago didn't help matters either.

I am watching what I beleive to be the first episode of season seven of Smallville. I had forgotten that it comes on Mondays, and hence I wasn't thinking of watching it yesterday. Not that I could have watched it even if I had wanted to. Seeing how I was asleep at five and didn't wake up till two thirty this morning. Just a few days ago I was thinking about how much I missed watching Smallville. At first I didn't really like Smallville, it never really caught my attention. But during Ramadan, I really got into it, and I even prefered it over Arabic series. Speaking of Arabic series, it has been a really long time, sense I have watched an orginal arabic series. The only arabic series I've been following lately, are the dubbed arabic series. I don't mind if they are dubbed in any arabic, aside from the classical arabic. I did some reading yesterday. Steven Jobs and his team, spend around three hundred thousand dollars on one commerical, when he was into adversiting, or says the book that was written about him, it's intilted, "inside the mind of Steven Jobs." Seriously three hundred thousand dolls for one twenty second commerical! or it could have been shorter than that. But either way, that is a lot of money, aspecially when other companies were only paying 15,000 dollars to film thier commericals. But I guess if you have the money you might as well burn it right? Back to Smallville, when I first watched Smallville, I used to think that Lex Luthar, was a good guy, that he and Clark Kent, were friends. How stupid was I? Don't anwser that question. Watching it now, I don't even know why I thought that. Right now, there's a good Clark and a bad Clark. I wonder what's going to happen, when Good Clark finds out about bad Clark. I think Bad Clark will probably become best buddies with Lex Luther. Speaking of Lex Luther, he's going to confess to his wifes murder. Cloey died-----I don't think thats how you spell it, and maybe she's not really dead, like maybe her character will be coming back, though, I can't exactly be sure of that. Paris Hilton's British best friend. I don't like how Paris bought back Cat, after four eliminations. I wonder what she's playing at. Actually I shouldn't be too surprised, its clear, how sad she was when she had to leave for medical reasons, so it really shouldn't have come as a surprise to any of the people in the house, that Paris bought her back. And because she bought her back, she had to send two people home. I only remember one of the people, that british actress, I think Laury was her name. Because she didn't seem to know anything about Paris at all. And then this other girl, I forgot what her name is. Smallville update---Cloey is alive and well. I knew they wouldn't kill off her character. She's like the almost heart of the series. Back to Paris Hilton's British Best friend: I hate how everyone is so hard on that dancer girl, that one that was accuseed of faking an injury, why would someone do that? Anyway, it was good when her friend came to that faux court trial, and told everyone, that her behavior wasn't an act, that's she a genuinelly nice and kind person. As for Paris Hilton's best friend---the American version: I don't understand why she hasn't kicked Natasha out, she's got attitude, and thinks that, she's way better then Paris. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying I think she's missing the whole point of being a friend. I think she wants to be Paris Hilton's compettior, and not her friend.

I was wrong, whatever season of One Tree Hill shows at one pm in the afternoon, hasn't finished yet. I watched it yesterday afternoon, and Paten, killed the one guy, who claimed to be her brother, and then broke into her house and tried to kill her, and later her ex friend, who had gotten worried about her, and gone to her house to check up on her, because she was supposed to meet Lucas at the prom. Speaking of Lucas, he is still trying to remember what happened with his mother's finance, I think he's trying to remember if his father killed him. I think its his father that killed his mom's finance. It's ironic how the leader of the clean teens, slept with Mouth, and then broke up with him right after. What a leader. I forgot what Mouths actual name is.

I want to prove to my husband that I don't need a nine to five job to be a good writer. Being a good writer has nothing to do with going out and working in some office building. Writing is about putting your thoughts on paper, in a organzied matter so that people can understand what you are talking about. Writing a good story, or a good article, is about writing what you know about. And you can learn a lot by watching television, and reading books. I beleive that the more you read, and the more you actually write, the better your writing gets. I don't believe that it has anything to do with working a full time job. I told my husband that I wanted to get a writing course. Because writing is what I want to do with my life. I don't know why I didn't think to get a degree in Creative Writing in the first place. Oh yeah, because I was thinking about a high class job as a paralegel, eventually a lawyer. But now that I don't even have a degree in that. I have educational information on the topic, I just don't have a degree. Anyway, my husband's reasoning for me not taking the writing course, is because he thinks I don't have enough life experience in order to suceed in a writing course. I need to write a full and complete story, I know I can do it, I just have to focus. I am already working on a story, so that is a good thing. I don't think you need to know everything you write about, especially if you are writing a fictional story. For example, did J,K rowling know how it felt like to fight he who shall not be named? Or how it felt to fly around on a broom stick, whilst chasing after a golden ball with wings? Did Steven King experience any of the things his character Carrie experience? Did his mother lock him up in the closet, and demand that he repent for his sins? Did he cause his high school to get back at those who had made his high school days a living hell? Did Robin Cook, pull out the heart of his dying sick daughter in a desperate measure to see what happened? Did Meg Cabbot, actually become a princess of a made up country?

I have days where I love coffee, and can't get enough of the stuff, and then I have days were I cannot stand coffee, and I opt for water or tea instead. I know that when I have coffee or tea, that I will have to drink a lot of water, to make up for the coffee. Seeing how deyhadrating coffee can be. I have read that Herbal tea, is just as good as drinking water. I don't think the same thing can be said for black tea. Green tea on the other hand I don't know, I would say, that sense it contains less caffaine then Coffee, and Black tea, then it is less deyhdrating than coffee. Coffee, or tea gives me, that extra energy to be able to workout on the treadmill, for the allocated time I have set, without taking any breaks whatsoever. I love drinking my coffee black. Although sometimes I like to have low fat coffee creamer in my coffee from time to time. And sometimes I have even added low fat milk, liquid or powder to my coffee. I don't like the full fat coffee. I prefer the coffee maker coffee over the instant coffee, but if that's the only thing available then I will have the instant coffee. They both give me that surge of energy, that I need to workout. Tea does the same thing, but I need to drink more tea, in order for me to be able to workout on the treadmill, or not even just the treadmill. Although, I notice that I don't really need coffee, or tea, when I just want to do, the floor workouts, in other words the non machine workouts. I notice that I am a very obessive person. IF someone suggest something, I keep on thinking and thinking about that suggestion. I get scared that if I don't agree to something, I am going to be left on my own, and that scares me more than anything. I sometimes think of making iced coffee, I have iced coffee before, just plain black coffee with ice, that's ice coffee, with practically no calories. There are sometimes, where I will have a full fat, iced coffee, from Costa's, I don't do that all the time, just very rarely, here and there. One of these days, I want to make my own Cold coffee, but I am afraid that I would butcher it up, so I would rather get it professionally done. I am watching a movie on mbc2, I have no idea what it's called. I'm guessing it's called, "I want your man." or "I'm going to make your man fall in love with me." Something like that. commericals are on now, so I'm going to watch for the name of the movie. So far there's this married couple, and they need a live in nurse, I don't know why yet, so they hire this nurse, to come in live in thier guest house. Oh great I just missed the title of the movie. Last night, I watched the episode of Pretty Little Liars that I missed on Monday, and the episode of Mad Men that I missed on Tuesday. I also got to watch Top Chef, because for a first time in a long time, I was actually able to keep my eyes open, after two or four in the afternoon. I however, only managed to stay up till eight, and ended up missing the ending, so I have no idea who was asked to leave. Before yesterday I missed it, I missed, who got through. I missed The biggest Loser, even though I was awake when it was on, but then my mom called and me and her got to talking. I have been told that I am a logical person. So it probably comes to no surprise that I have thought logically about this problem that I am currently facing. The logical way to get over not having a degree----an actual dregree------is to get an actual degree, which means that I need to get a degree. I wish they would send me a new transcript so that I can send it to the other university, and that way, I can probably take, an Associate's to Bachelor's degree course. But if they don't then I will just have to take an associates course, and then move on up the academic ladder. Right now, I just have a lot of information under my belt, but I have no degree to actually back me up. Hopefully next week, I'll be able to watch all my shows.

I am watching Two Weeks notice on Mbc4. I missed it last night. Not that I was actually planning on watching it last night, because I knew that I would miss it, seeing how my sleeping scedule has been lately. it's a complete mess. A complete and utter mess. I go to sleep in the afternoon, for a little nap, and then I wake up at midnight. Here is a list of shows that I have missed, The biggest loser, I have no idea who was voted off yesterday, I have no idea, who lost the most weight, I have no idea of what could happen on the show today. Next comes Top Chef-----I heard a bit of it, but I was too tired to get out of bed and actually watch it, so I listened to it, as I was drifting back to sleep, and by the time I woke up again it was eight something, or nine something-----the point is, so you think you can dance was on, and Cat Daily was talking, and some dancers were dancing, to a familiar song, I had to go to the bathroom, so I kept the tv on, finished with the bathroom, washed my hands-----and then turned off the television, and went back to sleep. and then I woke up at midnight, watched some television. Nothing good came on, till about two in the morning. Not a rerun of Everybody Hates Chris was any good, it was the Christmas one------but at least it was far better, then watching girls vying for Paris Hilton's attention. I honestly don't understand why Natasha' the rocker chick is even there? She obviously thinks that she's better than Paris, there's no way that they are going to be good friends. I have no idea what's going to be on after Two Weeks notice. I am hoping that its going to be something interesting to watch. If not they I will just watch a movie, hoping that there is in fact an interesting movie to watch.

I wish we could have breakfast together yesterday, but he wasn't in the mood, so I just did my own thing. And I'm nervous about Saturday. But you know, what's meant to be is going to be, and there's no stopping it. It is what it is. I just have to take life one day at a time, well that is the only way that it can take life. In my mind things are probably a lot worse than they actually are. But we see the world, based on what we see in our minds and not what's actually going on. Right now I'm watching One Tree Hill, there was a time where I didn't care to watch One Three Hill. And I've decided not to waste money on Showtime---because they have a few months where they show new episodes, new seasons, but once those seasons end they go back to the begining of those same seasons, till they get a new season, and then its the same thing all over again. The only complaint I have about this free tv, especially MBC Group, is that they keep on dumping arabic shows on MBC4. Other than that I don't have any other complaints.

Random thoughts----

Sense I can easily watch reruns of the weeks eleven o'clock shows during the weekends it doesn't matter that I miss them during the week. The only problem is, I'm usually asleep when they are on. But sense I am praying again. I should have an easier time, being able to see those shows, and I might even going back to watching them at six in the pm, that's when they have thier second showing, aside from the orginal time. Anyway, I'll just watch Pretty Little liars at six tonight. The owner of the building wants his rent, and this time, he signed, so hopefully he'll take the money when my husband tries to give it to him. Because last time he refused to take the money. He refuses to take the money because we don't have a rental contract, and he refuses to give us a rental contract, but at the same time, doesn't stop bothering us about asking for money that he refuses to take. I seriously don't understand what his handle is. I am hoping that this is a sign that we have no choice but to move. Because I really want to move. But I don't want us to move, because I've been nagging at him for us to move, I want us to move, because the owner doesn't want us to stay in his apartment building, so I want it to come from him and not from me. I love watching MADE on MTV. I keep on missing, episodes of Paris Hilton's BBFF, I have no idea when it comes on. I think it comes on Thursday, or Wensday, I'm not sure. I watched a bit of the Zodiac, but then my mom called and we got to talking, and that's always interesting. To be honest, if I had the money I probably would invest in a LV bag, because I get very attached to my purses, and I tend to use one purse for a very long time, and plus, I would have the added factor, of being able to get it fixed, it would be an investment that's for sure. But then I think the Coach bags are so much cuter and colorful. Speaking of colors, I want to get some colorful shoes when I get a job, I want to go on a shopping spree. Hopefully I'll get my blackberry soon, it'll be a used one, my husbands old one, because he doesn't care about the functions as I care about them, so he offered to give me his. I'm fine with that. I just want a blackberry. Right now I'm watching One Tree Hill, I don't know what season, I'm guessing season five.

I am watching Breaking Bad on mbc action now. Only because there's nothing else on. I've already seen the entire first season of nurse Jackie, and I've already seen season five of America's best dance crew. And even though I didn't see the current episode, I still know whose going to win, and whose all going to lose. I haven't watched From G's to Gents, because I'm usually in bed by nine pm, or earlier, and then I'm awake at midnight. I watched Made---in this episode a kid wanted to learn how to ball room dance for his schools talent show, he and his partner a girl named Katie, got second place.

I am watching Breaking Bad. I saw a cool looking stare masters in Saco, when we went on Saturday morning. I want to go back, after I get a job, god willing that will be soon, as soon as I get my degree. and then I want to replace the treadmill. Treadmills are a lot more borning to workout out on. But they still provide you with a great workout. Does sweating mean that I'm losing fat?

I have scanned my registration, and next I'm going to scan my grades. Both the orginal grades for the topics I didn't take, and the grades that match with the grades for the topics that I actually took. I wrote it before, but I wrote it all wrong, well not all wrong, but mostly all wrong. I woke up at one am this morning, after going to bed at nine last night, or maybe it was a few minutes to nine, cause I went to bed right before Ghost Town came on, I just couldn't stay awake any longer. The odd thing is that I was expecting to be asleep for a lot longer. Because I hadn't slept sense, I woke up at four---five something, Thursday afternoon- early evening. I didn't watch Top Chef, we had gone out, just driving around. Because all of the malls were closed. Wasn't expecting that. I am hoping that we can go out today before they leave back to Dammam. Now back to Top Chef, I wonder when they will be showing reruns of Top Chef, I'm currently watching Legally Blonde 2. Next is Men and Trees, it's heading towards the end of the season. I missed the last episode last time it came on.

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Right now I am watching Inspector Gadget. When I was a kid I used to watch the cartoon. My dad had a coat, much like the coat that Inspector Gadget wore on the cartoon. But I don't recall calling him Inspector Gadget. I haven't gone to sleep, sense I woke up at eleven on Thursday night, actually I may have slept a little in the morning, or maybe not. I really don't remember. Actually no I did get some sleep in the late afternoon, for about an hour or so. Because I didn't watch the biggest loser. I feel sorry for the people who go on the biggest loser, actually, no I don't feel sorry for them. I admire thier courage to go on national television, and let the whole world know exactly how much they weight. And not only that but they are willing to put in the hard work to lose the weight. They are not looking for quick and easy solutions. I watched Top Chef which I always find to be interesting. I didn't see what they cooked at the thirty minute challenge, actually each person, is supposed to cook thier own dish under thirty minutes, now comparing Top Chef to Master Chef Austarlia, I personally prefer to watch the latter. Because if Master chef Australia came on at the exact same time as Top Chef, then I would probably like to watch Master Chef Australia over watching Top Chef. Now it's time to check what on mbc4. Men in Trees is on. Even I've seen this season before---I think----I'm going to keep this channel on, and just watch and see what's going to come on next. I did something different the other day, and watched two movies, I started watching the third movie, but it just got too boring and I couldn't finish it.

Right now I am drinking green tea, and watching Bewitched. I am wondering what other movie is going to be coming on after this movie. If its a movie I haven't seen before and I think that its interesting, than I'll watch it. If it's a movie I've never seen before and think that it's way too boring, than I'll still watch it, just for a change and besides I can just watch it for the noise, or I can see what's playing on MTV last time I checked America's best dance crew, reruns from season five was on. I like how an American team won the award, however I hate the specific American team that had one the trophy.

I'm almost done reading The Devil Wears Prada. I wonder why they casted Andrea's boyfriend as Chef on the movie, when actually according to the book he was a public school teacher. And thier friends in the movie, are nothing like her friends in the book. The only things that match, Andrea getting a job at Mode, Andrea going to Paris with Miranda,

I told my husband that I want to see a skin doctor, because I want to get a new mole that has just appeared on the sole of my foot checked out. From what I read it doesn't seem like anything serious, but I want to make sure, and maybe get it removed if needed. I've been watching Doctor OZ lately, I like watching him, better than watching The Doctors. Because Dr. Oz always anwsers questions, during his show. The Doctors don't always do that. Plus Doctor Oz, gives advice on the types of foods that you should eat, to stay healthy, and lose weight. I've also been watching season three of Master Chef Australia. I've missed one or two episodes. I finally found out this morning at midnight that if I miss the eight o'clock showing I can catch, the later showing after Midnight, right after Blind Date. My favorite contastent so far---is the one who refused to serve the judges----but I am sure they are going to eliminate him because he's not a very sufficent cook. I think he has asperburgers if I'm not mistaken. I kind of feel sorry for him, but I admire him greatly, for putting his best foot forward and trying out for such a competitive television show. So my favorite thats still on the show, is the guy with the earrings-----he has a good demeaner. I've been watching Blind Date here and there. So far, Lucia has found a boyfriend, her sister----and her finance broke up. Lucia's father is going out with Manucha's friend. Lucia's mother and father divorced years ago, and her sister has a different father. At first Manucha was angry at her friend for going out with her ex husband. I like to follow all the shows that come on mbc 4 at eleven. Sometimes I watch them early in the morning, or at six the next day, or sometimes at thier orginal time. The shows are, 90210, I'm really liking this new season of the show. Numb3ers------I cannot seem to understand any of the episodes that I have seen so far. Pretty Little Liars-----I'm wondering how Alison was killed. Greys Antatomy-----Honestly I haven't watched a complete epsidoe---safe for the first and maybe second epsisode. On the weekends I like to watch, the movie that comes on mbc 4, Top Chef, The biggest loser, and So you think you can dance. I missed last weeks episode of The biggest loser. I've stopped watching arabic gulf series, and only watch, dubbed turkish series. I find them more interesting.

I sent them an email explaining everything, and we may or may not need to call them or go back to that place in the morning, so we can take care of everything.

I am seriously thinking, of taking, a degree, from either The American university of London, directly, and if I go through an affliate---than, I am going to make sure that they send all my papers to the university----right now I have to send the university my papers, so that I can get my degree, and then I can either, go on to get a masters, or a Bachelors, depending on what the next university says, that is if I choose to go with them, my inclination is towards, the American university of London, but the main university, and not the affilate----unless, the affliate actually sends my papers to the university---or I will just apply for the main university---and that's all, on the other hand I'm also inclined towards must university. But if I can go right to Masters, in both, than I'll go with MUST but if I can just go for masters, in the american university of london than, I will register with that university---and like I said before if I go with the affilate---I'll either send my registeration papers myself, or regigester with the main university.

I feel like breaking something right now. But I don't want to bother with cleaning up the mess, so it's best that I don't break anything.

I am so frustraited right now, my dvds aren't playing----as in my laptop, won't play my dvds, it won't even read them. I don't know why it only reads ONE dvd----they all from the same source, I don't understand why it only plays one and not the rest.
it's really getting on my nerves. I'm thinking to get a portable dvd player with a screen, but i need to make sure it will play american dvds, like the kind you buy in Bahrain---because they have a different region than the ones that you buy here.
At first I wanted a Blackberry---I still want one, but I want to wait for my phone to die, it's already, two years old, so it shouldn't be that long, before I'm saying goodbye to it, and hello to the Blackberry.

I tried to watch season five of I love lucy, but none of the dvds would work, I'm going to try them again later. I don't understand why sometimes these dvds work and other times they don't work.

I love watching Emariti cartoons, like Asfahan. That character is hillarious. I also love watching Fareej, though from the previous episode that I watched it seemed like the episode I watched was the last episode, I'm probably wrong about that though. I'm watching Asfahan now, I'm not sure what's going to come on afterwards, but I'm sure that it's not going to be anything interesting, because I usually change the channel, I think I'll either put mbc action----if Law and order SVU is on, then I'll watch mbc action, and if that's not on, then I'll watch mbc four.

The flinestones---

Growing up, I loved watching the Flinstones, I especially liked Fred----He was funny, I know that it used to come on invenity----I don't think it comes on during Ramadan, at least I haven't checked. Anyway, when I was five, I had a barney doll, and my brother, had the Fred doll, I liked Barney too. I don't like the new Flinstones, when thier kids are older, it's not the same. That's a cartoon, that I liked and I still like, and that's the kind of cartoon, I want my children to follow----God willing if I have any children in the future.

Sense Monk, is just reruns, I'm not watching Monk anymore. And sense Blind date, is losing it's appeal for me, I'm no longer watching, that show anymore. and that goes, for America's got talent, not because of reruns, but because of lack of taste.

I need to print out the forms---the second forms because whenever I write the date in english numbers, it switches it to arabic numbers. So we need to get the printer working, or he could bring the smaller printer, from the office, that one worked really well. This one that we have works fine, when the ink isn't damaged. I don't even know how that black ink got damaged in the first place, but this is the second time, that it's been changed, so I hope that it will work, with the new black ink. Anyway, we also need to get pictures taken, I don't know why they need them, but they need them, and I still hate having my picture taken. But that's life. Sometimes, you have to do what you don't like, to get what you want.

Now that I think about it, they did show season two of 90210, on mbc4, I just never saw the first episodes of the season. And I don't recall how it ended either.

I have the craziest sleeping scheldule yet. Today I woke up as they where calling for the last prayer. of course I had also gone to bed a little after the afternoon food, I was planning on staying up, but do you know how difficult it is to stay up, with no food? it's practically impossible. Tomorrow morning, I plan on going to sleep right after I prayer the first prayer of the day. That way I can possibly wake up, either a little before they are calling for the afternoon prayer. And that way, I can actually be awake, to make all my prayers in time. Cause I feel very bad about that.

I didn't do any book reading today. I read a lot of blogs. I looked at pictures of stillborns, it scares me that one day if I ever become pregnant, that my baby could be born dead. I started looking at the pictures, because this blogger, was talking about her daughter that had been born dead, it was just heartbreaking and sad. I didn't leave a comment, because, what do you say to a person who has lost a part of them?
All of the pictures were errie looking, some where deformed, it was just sad, and then I got to thinking about the families who have to bare thier loss, it's one thing to look at a picture, but it's a different thing completely to be right there, to be the brother, the sister, the mother, the father, who has to bare the loss of the baby.

I still haven't finished reading the Other woman, by Jane Greene. I have been so busy catching up on blogs that I just haven't had the free time, to read that book. I noticed that a lot of bloggers are going private. Some offer to send invites to those who are interested in reading thier blogs. I think that's really nice of them to do that.
I have been playing a lot of face book games, well not a lot, just three main games, Baking life----Farmville and Frontierville, I have stopped playing cafeworld after reaching level 102

I finally watched Fareej, I kept on missing it before, because I thought that it was supposed to come on Sama Dubai, but then finally, I realized its supposed to come on on Duba---and it came on at two am, and not one thirty am---like Jacqi listed, but then again, these arabic channels aren't really known for thier puncualty.

I wonder what resturants don't need reservations during Ramadan, I know that the chience resturant doesn't need reservations, and neither does applebee's, I not sure about the steakhouse though, calorie wise----it all depends on what i order from those places, and on that day, i could skip out on the breakfast---i call my suhoor breakfast---because i eat my suhoor at one or midnight. anyway, back to the resturants----I'm thinking of going to the Steakhouse, I was thinking of indian food, but it tends to be spicy----so yeah, but we'd have to leave early and get there before magreb, because if you get there at magreb time----you'll find that it's crowded, and then there's applebee's, and the chinese resturant---I know that the chiense resturant doesn't need reservations. anyway, I like the chinese resturant---and I haven't been there in a really, really, really long time, and i have been craving seafood soup.
but on the other hand I also like the steakhouse, and sense this is going to be a combined, birthday---and anniversary---and both my husband and i like the steakhouse resturant---i think I would rather go there, but we;d just be sure to get there early, and make reservations if needed.
anyway, or i might keep at the chinese resturant---and just get the soups.

I hate it when someone says they are worried about me being in the house too much. and I just think to myself, "Well if your so darn worried about me, staying at home all the time, then why don't you make it a habbit to take me out everyweekend, just because I'm not a little kid, it doesn't mean that I don't need to get out and breath some fresh air," but I never say this, because I realize all the pressure he's going through, and so I just let it go, and I usually don't say anything. there are days where I'll really want to go somewhere, and I'll call, and get a negative response, and then, I'll wait a week, and that week rolls around, and I'll wait for another week.

Now the only time that I go out is for job interviews. I haven't had any interviews yet, and I'm nervous about sending my resume to any company, until I have completely resolved the issue with my university.
I don't want my only outlet to be work, and home, I want to go to the mall, I want to take walks in the park, I miss that huge park, my dad used to take, me and my siblings to, before we moved back to Dammam.

There are times, well all the time, when I wish my husband would offer to take me out walking with him. and besides, if he goes one way, and I go the other way, then he can still have his personal time. Why should I always be the one that always has to compromise by working out on the treadmill, while he's the one that can go walking in the nice fresh air.

of course now the weather is hot and dry----there's no body of water to make it humid, and thus it probably wouldn't be a good idea to go walking in the park, however, there are malls.

Oh god, how I miss going to the mall, I wish we could make it a habit to go to the mall, at least once a week.

It's Friday---just another day of the week. and I am bored, so bored. sometimes I feel like having a baby----just to busy myself. but then I realize that taking care of a baby would take a lot of effort and a lot of patience, and if the baby got on my nerves, I wouldn't have anyone, I could call and ask, to watch the baby for a while. No I would be on my own, and I couldn't exactly call up my husband and ask him to drop his work, and come and take the baby off my hands.
one day, I want to have a baby---when I see babies, my heart longs for one, but like I said before----I don't feel ready to have a baby, I want to do some reading about babies and babycare, and how to keep mentally sane, while being around a baby, that cries constantly.

my mom tells me as a baby, I cried all the time. she and my dad would argue about whether or not someone should come and pick me up, my dad usually won those battles. I can't help but wonder, if I'm a very emotional person---quick to cry because of that. sometimes I wonder, if I would've grown up to be a calm person, had I been left to cry myself to sleep when I was a baby. when my mom suggested that I be left alone to cry myself asleep, it would be after I had been held, bathed, changed, and fed, and cuddled.
but obviously I was a very needy baby, I always needed to be held, I needed attention. if I didn't get attention, I would scream my lungs out.

Today is a day, that I wish I could be lucky enough to forget that I am fasting and drink some water. But you can't plan on forgeting, it doesn't work like that. Enough on that though, on to other issues.

I am not a perfect muslim, no one can claim to be the perfect muslim, we all have our downfalls. so when people say, "oh your a really good muslim." I feel guilty, because in my mind I'm not a very good muslim, sometimes, I forget prayers, sometimes I lie, sometimes I pray late. In other words I am not a perfect muslim, I have a lot of work that I need to do. But I don't like talking about it with people, because, they'll just give me those critizing looks of, "How can you forget such a thing?" "How can you miss that?" And I don't go bragging when I get things right---either, "I don't call up my family, or update my facebook status---"Hello everyone, I prayed all my prayers on time." if someone happens to ask me, I'll tell them the truth, and its simple as that. I remember growing up, my dad used to say, "Praying fajer alone isn't enough." he used to force my brothers to prayer and then later, he just dropped that, and decided to let us make our own choice whether we wanted to pray or not. I had years or months where I didn't pray at all. and I had years, where I prayed on and off. Now for the most part---I make it a point to get all my prayers on time. it's a work in progress--as life is.

I'm going to make my own little tag---about random things I have done, throughout my 25---almost 26 years of life so far.

1-i wore mismatched clothes to school once---that's what happens when you let your father, choose what your going to wear---I was in grade school.
2-i sewed a dress for my barbie, from left over material, we had left over, after we made sheets for our beds.
3-i have read harry potter book at least once
4---i have read all of the shopaholic books
5--i went to arabic school the first nine years of my life---well i went to english school for two years. but i repeated those same grades in arabic school.
6-i went to france with my brother.
7-i wrote a story and uploaded it on lulu.com
8-i had my tonsils out.
9-i wrote a poem that actually got published in a book.
10-i yelled at a complete stranger when i was fourteen, for staring at me---and to top it off, i was veiled---well the half veiled, but i was still veiled.
11-i fell and tripped and cracked my front tooth, when i was seven
12--my feet fell asleep in the mall, and my dad had to drive the car closer to the entrance, so i wou;dn't have to walk too far, that was embarressing, needless to say, i haven't worn those boots again.
well actually my foot fell asleep, it would have been worse if both my feet had fallen asleep.
13-i painted a picture---the sun reflecting on the sea
14---tried every free diary----weblog----on the internet----I'm sticking to blogger----thought I sometimes----write in wordpress, but not that often

i don't watch the talk anymore----because of thier thoughts when it came to the casey anthony tape, and how they seemingly understand how the jury made the verdict that they made. i have been reading through the case, and it was clear and obvious that she is guilty. what were those jurers thinking when they came to the conclusion that they came to?

i am so bored i'm talking to myself. but i'm only talking to myself because i need to sound off my the thoughts that are running around in my head, a thousand and one thoughts are running through my head right now. like why can't america, live and let live, why must they police everyone into beleiving what they beleive, telling them that they have the freedom of religion, when in reality they don't. why is it okay, for gays to get married, but if a man who is already married to more than one wife---because his country and religion allow him to do so, he is only allowed to bring the first wife---and that's only if he's american----at least that is what i read, because i was curious about this whole thing, and anyway, i don't know i don't understand what harm any man is doing to the united states if he brings both his wifes to the united states, if the man has money, he's actually helping the economy and not hindering it. isn't an honest second marriage, better than some affair, that results in a love child ten years later----i think you all know who i'm talking about----and why do they turn a blind eye to the mormon community----they've been practicing pologomy---for years---but they just put them in a gated compound and forget all about them, and only talk about the runnaways, why can't there be a gated community for muslims who want to practice thier religion as they are allowed to do so/ where is thier right of religion? okay fine, if the american goverment doesn't allow for men, to legally marry more than one wife in the states, but why do they have to stop them from bringing them to the states if they marry them elsewhere. why is it okay, to have affairs that break up marriages, but something that is legal in another country and another religion, is completely off base/ and then they go on with thier stupid, "America's the land of the free." more like "america is the land of reality tv."

random friday

i woke up at fou something in the afternoon, turned on the television, it was on mbc drama----so i switched it to mbc4----i was hoping that something other than the real house wifes of o.c would be on, but sense they where on, i changed the channel, and i then watched, mbc action, the mentalist was on , it was a rerun, but then ncsis came on right after so i watched that. i forgot how it ended, i wasn't really paying attention, after that ended i just turned off the television, and started reading true crime stories----there's one story---about a husband that, cut his wife up, its grotesque to say the least. i'm reading these cause i like reading and writing crime stories, but mine never end good----or i can never seem to end them. i was also reading up, on mafia families---and thier lingo---and the famous mombsters.

i have stopped watching make it or break it for the time being---i didn't watch it at all this last week---or maybe i did, and i don't remember, i know for sure, that i did not watch it on wednesday, and i didn't watch it on tuesday----and i'm pretty sure i didn't watch it on monday either, and lastly, i think i didn't watch it on saturday or sunday either, and sense it doesn't come on friday or thursday i didn't watch it then either. i'm not exactly sure why i just stopped watching it for the time being, but that's just what happened, like for the most part i stopped watching blind date----and i stopped watching, stolen lives, and the valley of the wolves, and master chef-----valley of the wolves because i keep on missing it, i don't mean to miss it, i just miss it, or i end up watching my i love lucy dvds and lose track of time, or because i'm sleeping, i have missed many episodes of sila and the good earth. the good earth seems like its coming to an end. the white flower is ending on sunday----i'm planning on watching the season finale, sarah---a lebanese series is also going to finish on that same day. my main focus has been on heart beats---i'll be sure to catch the rerun at one thirty-----and sahra----i love that series-----hebah is so cute--------medhat---and his friend, both turned out to be officers, i never saw that coming----and the guy i thought was on sahra's side---who kept her from jumping off the cliff----actually wants her dead, but he not only wants her dead, but also her step sister, its really complicated, just like a turkish series is supposed to be. i don't mind anything dubbed, as long as they are not dubbing it into the classic arabic----that's fine for reading, and for other certain religious matters, but i don't care to listen to it all the time. i stopped watching noor again for the second time, and i also stopped watching, alya----for the second time. anyway, i have been stuck at home for an entire month right now, and i feel like i'm going to go insane---i already broke a candle----it was either that or the tv----the tv had stopped working---i got that all fixed----it just needed to be reset------now that i don't use the remote----it doesn't freeze as much-----i don't watch the morning shows anymore----so back to candle----it was cheap one, that wouldn't even light up, because the wax was stuck to the wicker stick, well the wax had melted into it, the part that's supposed to be clean of wax, so you can actually light it, that part. so my new tv list goes like this------sahra----heart beats---life unexpected---house-----the good earth----sila-------the white flower.
anyway, for ramadan---there's two series, i am only planning on following the kuwati series, and if there's any turkish series i'll follow that. the new sabya---series looks stupid...

i am very disapointed today---i was expecting my family to come visit me, but they stayed up too late-----and woke up to late to come. and thus i have to wait another week for them to come, so i spent the whole day sleeping---i just woke up at eleven, when my dad called and said that they wouldn't be able to come and then i went back to sleep and woke up a four something in the afternoon.

why is it when a non muslim does something horrible===like what that guy did whose behind the norway terrorist attacks----well they just call them attacks----of course if the guy had been a muslim or an arab----or a combination of both -----they would call him a terrorist---instead of an extremist----and terrorist attacks instead of attacks.

Things i need to do====i need to finish editing the coverletter---so that i have a small discription of all what i have studied---sense---i don't have any work experience---in the field that i want to work in---so i can at least show them that i have some background---in the subjects that paralegals need to know. or rather pre---law students need to know.
i need to enroll in online courses---for paralegel training.
I need to get things resolved with my uni---i was that guy had an email adress, it would be so much easier---than calling long distance.

Tomorrow is going to be the season finale of Nada al3mer going to be tonight, and the season finale of nurse jackie came on last night, i didn't watch it, because i was watching Sahra on that time. i didn't watch House---because it was an episode that I have already seen already. i really miss watching, innocent dreams.

I am thinking about taking courses in paralegale training in at expert rating,com, i've checked them out already, and they're certified. i need to call the university first and i need to talk to the doctor that's in charge with the middle east affairs, and anyway, i tried finding out, if taxes was a course, but instead of giving me an anwser, they just told me to refer all my questions to my professor, and then i told them that my professor resigned after i completed the program, and then i sent them all my information, and then instead of telling me of my status, they just told me to contact, the doctor that's in charge of the middle east affairs.

it looks like i am going to end up having to take another course in LLB commerical law from the american university of london, because it seems like they have forgotten to add a book, called intellectual law and taxes, because i only have a book called, employment law, and intellectual property, but i don't have a book called intellectual property-taxes.

I have been watching one turkish series, after another, my new current turkish series are===Sahra---and Ezel.

I'm going to see if I can go to the mall today or tomorrow, because I haven't been there, sense the saturday, before last----and last week I didn't go, because I was busy preparing---and I had a job interview---which didn't go well at all. i wish I could go back, and slap that idiot across the face, for not telling me exactly what he wanted when he asked me to come in for an interview, and why he didn't read my C.V in the first place. Alas, to other things, I have more pressing issues, than that stupid job interview, or any job interview, I need to recitify a problem i have on my transcript, because it doesn't match the courses I took, the transcript---lists, the LLM courses, while i took the LLB courses in Commercial law, and I can't exactly write a cover letter where I desribe all of my LLB courses, while I have the courses listed from my transcript as LLM courses. so that's my mission for this week, I'm also thinking of going to affilate---because they are the ones who issued the transcript in the first place, and asking them how I can rectify this challenege, So far I've emailed them, but they didn't get back to me, regarding, why my transcript does not match the courses that I took, so I emailed them again, and i have another emails at the ready, in case they don't respond to that way. Plus I've asked them to send me the course program for Commerical law, so that I can see, what courses are available in the LLB degree, even though I've already emailed them, and they told me that the courses I mentioned, matched the LLB degree, however they did not verify, wither it was the courses, that I had studied, or the courses that were listed on my transcript.

This is how the conversation that should have gone on wensday:
"So Hebah what's your job background."
"If you read my C.V you would know."
"That's right Hebah, you caught me, I didn't read your C.V."
"Have you written anything."
"I've written alot of things, can you specify?"
"Anything,we just need an example of your writing."
"So you want to read my stories?"
"No, I mean I want to read about what you studied in college,"
"Alright thank you for clarifying that with me."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
here's how the conversation really went,
"So Hebah what's your background?"
"I worked as an intern, for a company,"
"Interesting, so what did you study,"
Damn I completely forgot what I studied----I know what I studied, but
i just can't list the names of all the books that I've studied,
so I just said, "I studied commerical law in the American university of london,"
"So you'd take your exams in london?"
"No, I'd take them at thier affilates office, in Dammam,"
"Uh, I see, okay,"
"So you came here for the interview from dammam?"
"No I live here?"
"Does your family live here to?"
"No, they live in Dammam."
"Are they in Aramco?"
"No,"
"Oh, so you're living here alone?"
"No,I'm married."
"Oh,"
"So you know in order for HR to consider you, you need to send in a writing sample,"
"A writing sample of what exactly?"
"anything, just a writing sample."
"Didn't you write Essay's in college?"
"No, we just questions and answers,"
"Do you have your exam papers?"
"No,"
"Then you can write about what you studied."
"Okay, I'll do that."
"Thank you,"
"Oh right, what does your husband do?"

---------------------------------------------------
okay that wasn't too creepy right? but that's probably because I didn't put my name in each of the sentences that was meant for the person (male) conducting the interview was saying. I just hate that. I really do, because it makes me feel uncomfortable, and what's it to him what my husband does or doesn't do, in all honesty, I should have just walked out of there, but I being me, wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, and see where the conversation would go. I learned one thing though---to write a cover letter, about all the things that I studied in college---and send it along with my C.V, and I also know that I don't want to work for anyone that makes me uncomfortable.

I have now calmed down. and am feeling better. I know now, what I need to prepare for future interviews with law firms, and what I need to send out along with my resume. So I will be contacting some law firms again.

in other news. I watched an episode of the doors of fear----an egyption series about the paranornormal---it wasn't as scary as I first anticipitated, at least this episode wasn't, so that was a good thing. to be honest I only decided to give it a chance, because I didn't feel like getting up and changing the channel manually---as I still haven't gotten new batteries for the remote---but that's fine with me, I've learned how to cope with the commericals.

Just Annoyed.

Why am I annoyed you ask? I'm anoyed that the person who told me to set up a meeting today, was forty five minutes late-----and here I thought I was late===and then has the audictity to tell me, that, we need a writing example. I'm like what?! you couldn't have told me that via email when you told me to set up an appointment, I figured if it was something that neededd they would have asked for it. so now I'm writing up a writing example, I'll have to modify it later, so I'll have to open my law books, just so i know what each subject talks about. that got me so freaking annoyed, at myself, for not being smart enough to ask if they would need a writing sample, and at them, for not telling me, before the damn meeting that they needed a writing sample. and then he was so vague about it, he's like, "write about anything," So i was thinking fine, you want anything you can read my blog, that's anything, finally, he said, he wanted a paper on the courses i studied in the university, so he can give it to HR for consideration.

relaxed

Last night I went to sleep at twelve thirty in the afternoon, and then I woke up at five in the evening, and then went back to sleep at seven thirty, or eight---I forgot which, and then I went back to sleep and woke up at eleven thirty, at eleven thirty I got a phone call from both my husband and my dad, both telling me that they paid the cell phone bill, which is a good thing, because I really needed it to get paid. Obviously my husband read the emails that I sent him, because he asked about the directions to the interview and I told him, and even added the number, so that he can call them for further directions, because I can't understand directions from these people. The last person that gave me instructions, kept saying, "Localisier mall." What the hell is localiser mall? I saw the mall, but it didn't say localaizer mall.

Thank God, I have an interview for the end of the week. I hope that it will go well. This time I'm going to make sure that I'm completely prepared, meaning I'm going to read everything there is to know about the company---and the cases they handle and what not. Sense I'm probably going to be an admistrative, I probably won't need to know that much about law, except, ifI get hired as a paralegal---which is what I would ideally like to be hired as, anyway, I've already read through the firms website, I'm going to read more about. Not that there's that much to read about, I've noticed that they have firms outside as well. God Willing it will all go well.

The white flower---MBC4

Last night,a guy was going to kill Mustapha---while he was at his place of buisnss, to avenge----Aga Dawood's death, but then Aziz---Mustapha's arch enemy---stopped him, thus saving his life, Aziz---is the one that killed Dawood in the first place, but sense, Mustapha was the last person to be seen with the Aga as he died out, the Aga's men all think that it was Mustapha who had killed him, when actually it was Aziz who'd killed him, and Aziz had killed him because Dawood had plotted to kill Aziz--he was going to send him to pick up some money---but Aziz had sent someone else in his place and that guy wound up getting killed in a car explosion. Now Aziz didn't stop his "Friend" from killing Mustapha because he likes him, no, not at all, Aziz, stopped him, because he has other plans for Mustapha---I think eventually he's going to kidnap his son.

TV

I am now watching daysof our lifes on MBC4---I know I may have mentioned in one of my blogs,either this one, or another blog---that I only watch Turkish Series, but I've changed my mind, I'm going to watch other shows as well. I figure I have a television that works I might as well enjoy it.

right now

I went to sleep at five in the afternoon, cause I was feeling tired and dizzy, and then I woke up at eight---or a little after eight---as they were calling for prayer---and I had every intention on staying up and praying, however, I was feeling very disorented, and ended up bumping into a wall,as I was trying to leave my room, and then I just went right back into a deep sleep, and then I woke up at one in the morning, and the first thing I did was pray, and then I did some editing on the article that I wrote, and wrote another one. Then Fajer called, I prayed, had some fruit, and am thinking of having some home made potato chips, so that I can have enough energy to go on the treadmill, I just finished watching Mork and Mindy---

I worked out for an hour and now I feel good that I burned some of the calories I consumed, I had a bowl of special K, and one potato---cooked in olive oil----and some green salad. I just finished a cup of green tea, I'm plannin on having nine more cups.

Later I'm going to apply to jobs on bayt.com, I figured I'm already sending my resume, which contains my phone number all over the place I might as well start applyin for jobs on that job site, after all that is why i registered over there.

Nothing on the job front yet.

Still nothing on the job front, I'm working on an article for the Radio Station, sense they have a radio show called girl talk, I'm writing an article on plastic surgeory, so that I can send it in, of course I'll need someone to prove read it for me.

Breakfast together,

There are days where I wish my Husband and I could have breakfast together, but then there are times, where I am greatful that we hardly have breakfast together, even though we had made an agreement that we'd have breakfast together, except we never really agreed on a schedule,sure taking a freaking, stress and time managment course, is way more important than having breakfast with your wife. I thougt time management would mean that he would spend a little more time here, but it turns out that I was wrong, as usual, I just feel so annoyed right now. Annoyed because he said he would come yesterday, and never came or called, and annoyed, that he probably won't come today,and if he does, it'll just be the same thing, because he doesn't like going out, because he's never in he freaking mood, well it's not my fault those stupid Morons did what they did, why should I take the blame, why should I be the one to pay the price? I think that it's just unfair, completely unfair, I really hate that, there are times when I wish he would call and invite me out, but no, "I'm not in the mood, I'm too this and I'm too that" Well stop beng a freaking victim and go on with your damn life----it's not the end of the world,there are people who have lost billions of thier own money, and you know what they did, they freaking got up and they strived forward. At times I just don't understand anything, all I know is that I'm tired of being stuck in this apartment all day long, I was thinking of calling or textng my husband and seeing if he can take me to the mall today, that's another thing that annoys me, half of the time he doesn't anwser or reply to his texts. I hate it when he tells me that he's going to come over and then doesn't come or call, and I'm just supposed to guess what happened, and I hate it when he says that I'm going to get something in a week, and the week passes and nothing.

I'm watching--rather listening to Mork and Mindy, while drinking tea, and updating my blogs, sense I have the internet---I'm making it a point to update my blogs everyday---and to just watch---two youtube videos, I'm not watching any videos that are more than ten minutes long, so there are going to be some ANTM episodes that I'm not going to be watching, I started watching Cycle 16---I'm at episode Six----

I have decided to start watching Dawson's creek, because I want to see how it's going to all come together, and I've also decided just now, that I'm going to follow Days of our life. Because of the fashions mostly, that's what I was thinking, when I decided that I would follow this series. My reasons for following a series, has to do with two major things----I think the actors have a good sense of humor, in a mafia based film----such as Wadi of the wolfs----and for the fashion---Noor----and for the good storyline---the white flower---and the romance in, the call of a life time---though, and then, Fawzee's comical self on innocent dreams---I'm always wondering, if Alma and Bader are going to stay together, or if they'll get a divorce. I missed last nights episode----and so I'll have to wait till this afternoon to watch the rerun. if I'm bored, and have nothing else to do, and don't feel like listening to DVDs or tapes----then I'll watch Ezel, in both arabic and Turkish---which at first, I had thought was Farsi---stupid, dull mistake---I know. now I would like to see how that series is going to end. I started watchig Alya, but then got bored of it, because it just doesn't grab my attention, like the aformentioned series grab my attention.

I finally have a job interview for Sunday inshallah , I hope and pray that all will go fine, now if only I could get a hold of my husband so I could tell him. I hope everything is okay. And I hope that everything goes well with my interview, I'm going to practice using word- excel and powerpoint, I've used them all before, and I use word practically everyday---but it's been a long while sense I've tried out all the features. if all goes well inshallah then I'm going to go back to the bank to settle things and to hopefully get my bank account working---by getting a bank card. Cause they haven't sent me my bank card yet.

I'm not sure if this makes any sense whatsoever, and it probably doesn't make any sense,but whenever I see or hear about someone being in pain, or suffering, I feel a sense of pain myself. Perhaps it's empathy? I think it's empathy, it's got to be empathy, images get burned in my mind and they don't go away, which is why I don't want to watch any news or see any videos of people being hanged or tortured, because those images will be running , I really don't know who is backing them up, because someone sure is. anyway, that's not the point, the point is I cannot watch those videos or watch the news, I know that people are being shot, killed, and tortured, watching it unravel on the news isn't going to make any difference, it will only make me sad and deperessed, and even sadder, when told, "No matter how sad you feel,you'll never really understand the pain they're going through," That's right I'll never feel what they are going through, and god forbid if I were to go throw any hardships they wouldn't be able to feel the extent of my pain either.

Once again I'm rereading all of my books, in an attempt to write better stories. No one is replying to any of my posts on FB which is probably best because I'm just rambling on like usual. I just write whatever comes to mind. I haven't heard from any of my brothers in a really long time, they've got thier own lifes now, and I just don't have anything to say to them anymore, espeically one of my brothers, who thinks that he's got all the anwsers. I wish I didn't have such a "weak heart" meaning that I scare easily, and don't like to take risks, in other words I'm not brave, I would like to be brave, and plunge into new tasks without a second thought. I've had my CV sent to a number of different places, but they want my phone number, and I just can't take the plunge and send out my CV with the added mobile number, I know that my husband and I talked about it once before, and he knows that it is needed, and it would make no sense from them to get to me through my brother in laws phone number, and I already have it posted on another website, and he was fine with that, I just don't know, I think I'm going to brave take the plunge and send out my new CV with the new addition, after all, he knows that his friend asked to see my cv, so he can send it out to his contacts. however I want to be on the save side, save side? I'm being ridiculous I've already gone over this with my husband, and I've already stated that I would rather the potentional employers contact me directly.

I love watching Mork and Mindy---I have the two seasons, I don't really like the other seasons, because Mork loses his sense of humour and starts cting normal, anyway, I really like the first two seasons, in one of the episodes Mork gets involved with a club called, Pure Power---they're like the KKK they're against anyone that isn't purely white--anyway---he turns them all into different colors, and then leaves them to sort themselves out, another episode he, picked a number randomly from the phone book and called, "Hi Bob, how's the wife," "Oh you don't know me, I just picked your number from the phone book." Have any of you ever done something like that? call a random number? I personally did that once---the number was out of order====lucky me----thought it would have been funny. I'm watching Monk, on mbc4-- next Men Wanted is coming on, and its going to be the last epsiode I want to see how its all going to come together. Another thing, I watched the last two episodes of Party of Five---I couldn't get the first disc to work, it might work later---I used to like it a lot better---so I don't know if I'm going to get the other seasons. Maybe not, I think it would be a waste.

Went to the Steak house yesterday for lunch, ordered some cheese cake its not something I do all the time, and I burned most of the calories----walking around the mall, we only sat once---during the whole three hours we were there.

my opinion

Whenever I read the best little girl in the world. I feel like I just want to lose weight.I feel that I don't want to eat. Especially if I've gone for hours without eating, and I've worked out. I hate eating after I work out, because I'm afraid that I'm going to be ruining everything that I did before I ate. Then I realized if I eat pure foods then I don't have to worry about that. No more pasta for me----or any other white starch. My body cannot handle white starches----and besides that---they're not good for you anyway. Fruits and vegetables all the way. Speaking of which I'm not going to be making any cream based soups like I'd been planning---to save time---I'll get the packet soups---which are broth based.

imagine a world without blood and guns. (has nothing to do wih post)

I spent the majority of my day sleeping yesterday---due to the awful stomache I had. I still have a slight stomache right now, but it's not as bad as it was before. Either way I still can't have anything to eat. However I have the worse sweet tooth ever---I'm going to have my husband get me some doughnuts inshallah----I haven't had any sense March. Last night-yesterday I had a dream that I was eating cookies and candy. Anyway, hopefully I'll either call or text.

country chic

country chic by princessess featuring white heels

TopShop green halter dress
$76 - topshop.com

White heels
4.99 GBP - dressrail.com

Gucci leather clutch
$2,400 - net-a-porter.com

Heart jewelry
6 GBP - hannahzakari.co.uk

Juicy Couture heart jewelry
$148 - nordstrom.com

Melissa Odabash white party hat
150 EUR - stylebop.com

FLIRT! BIG FLIRT Thickening Mascara
$12 - kohls.com

Nothing much is going on lately. I was out of water---the water was cut off in the apartment for over twenty four hours and now its back on again---so I can finally shower and wash my face, and brush my teeth---you know all the wonderful things a person can do when they have running water. My stomache's been feeling queezy these past few days, so I haven't been eating that much, mostly just a dish of food late at night, and then, I don't have anything else to eat during the day. Today however I think I'll have some cucumbers and dates later, with lemon water. My eating habits are weird to say the least. I'm not very confident when it comes to my cooking, so if I'm going to cook for my husband it has to be from a cooking book and I've got to get all the ingridents or their equal or I won't be making the dish, I got an arabic cook book a while ago, I've tried two recipes in the book, and I'm going to try a third one---a cream of broccoli soup, it seems simple enough for me to make. I usually spend the entire day sleeping, because I get so tired from not eating, but then if I do eat it worsens my queezy stomach---so today I think---no----I know I'll just have tea----throughout the day---to keep me awake. Because I need to stay awake without food---till at least eleven at night---or eight--sense I don't have television anymore----and I can basically watch my DVDs whenever I like---as long as I get my prayers in on time.

Wondering

I wonder why women think that it's okay for everyone else to get a second and third wife--or even a fourth wife, but it's never okay for them. I don't get that at all. And I don't get women who stop talking with someone just because they're the second wife. I hate that alot of second wifes are accused of being husband snatchers----which may be true in some cases, but its not the general rule. Alot of women become second wifes because it was meant for them to be second wifes. A second wife in islam isn't like a mistress, were a mistress gets no rights whatsoever--a second wife---gets the same set of rights as the first wife.

I shall not follow any diet that tells me not to eat fruit. Like the Dunkan diet for example. This one girl on youtube was talking about how she needed to get in shape---she's already very skinny--- it didn't bother me that she thougt she needed to get in shape---what bothered me--or rather concerned me when she mentioned that she was eating too many grapes. I don't think that anyone can eat too many grapes. Or fruit for that matter. Fruit doesn't make you fat or out of shape----junk food makes you fat, foods filled with unnatural sugars and additives make you fat---to many white carbs make you fat. It's stupid to take fruit out of ones diet in order to lose weight. Because fruit is a fat burner---it helps you to lose weight, and keep your skin, looking young and healthy.

I finally got to go to see my friend yesterday. I would have liked to have gone earlier and stayed a while longer. However I'm happy that I finally got to go. And I finally got the pizza that I've been craving for. It's only a once and a month type of thing, so it should be fine. I hate diet books that tell you not to eat fruit? What! I'll think, fruit has natural sugars that are good for you. I know too much of a good thing can be bad, but to completely eliminate it from ones diet, I think that's going over board. I went on the treadmill, I spilt it up into sections---first for twenty minutes, and then I went back on, for fifteen minutes, then I took a short break and went on for another fifteen minutes, which make it a total of fifty minute---next time I'll go on, for thirty minutes take a break and go back on for another thirty minutes---starting from Friday--God Willing.

A mixture of things.

First I would like to thank everyone that has decided to follow my blog. I know that five followers is a small number, however I am very greatful to have you all as follwers of my blog. So thank you all again. For taking out the time and reading about my life. I would also like to mention that I love reading all of your blogs.
It's funny how we somtimes feel more comfortable writing about our lives than we do talking about them. At least that's the case for me. It used to be that I had to tell everyone I knew what was going on in my life, now I just prefer to write about it in my blogs, if they happen upon it, than they do, and if they don't, well then they don't. At times I find it difficult to express the way I'm feeling to other people. For the most part, because I'm afraid, that it will make them feel bad, and if they feel bad then I feel guilty, and so I just keep it all bottled up inside----and then I write about it. I realize now that is wrong, I should tell people how I'm feeling how else are they suppose to help me if I keep everything all bottled up inside. Like for example if I feel that I don't like to be alone all the time---I should speak up and say something, instead of not saying anything, if I feel angry or disapointed about something I should say so.After all if everyone else has the right to be state what they are angry about than so do I.

I sent another email to the SAMBA bank and I still haven't gotten any reply back. My brother hasn't called or email, and the American Embassy hasn't written back either. I wish I knew what that letter---or email said. I think I am going to have to go to the bank to sort this whole ordeal out myself. I don't want to call cause I probably won't get any anwser, or if I do get an anwser, they'll probably say, "Go to your nearest branch."

Looking for a job is not easy.Especially when you don't have any experience, and people are always telling you that you're C.V isn't good enough, and yet, they do nothing to help you with your C.V, they just tell you to check online, Well I have checked online, and I've written my C.V based on what I read online about C.V writters, I even added some things to make my C.V more interesting, I have started contacting law firms, and now I'm looking for companies on bayt.com to send my C.V too.

I feel so bored I don't even feel like watching television. Even though I'm missing one of my favorite series right now. I just want to go back home. So I'm thinking of going back with my dad, if I don't hear anything from him indicating when he can come and get me by tommorrow, I think from last Friday till thursday is plenty of time for him to figure out when he can come and get me. So I'm not going to ask him today if he has any idea as to when he can come, though I'm extremely tempted to do so. Instead I am just going to wait till tomorow. Anyway, that's pretty much all I've got to say right now.

I think enough is enough, I want to get back home. and today or tomorrow I am going to ensure that I get back home as soon as humanly possible.

I'm looking for a job. Because I'm getting bored of just sitting at home and reading. I wouldn't mind doing some translations, or even prove reading. Hell I wouldn't even mind working in a school, at this point I have given up on the idea of me finding a job in an international law firm here in the kingdom, though I will contiue to send out of my CV to various firms and hope that I get a postive response from one of them. It has been suggested that I work in an Embassy, I however do not wish to work for one.

The elctricty is back. Now I have a new thing to worry about my husband. Leave it to me to find something to worry about. Inshallah I will hear from him soon.

I cleaned the apartment---ate and got sick---Not on purpose though. After I let my stomach rest for a while---I did some simple workouts---crunches and sit ups, though my stomache is still feeling quesy. I don't know why food does this to my body. Truth be told I'm not a big fan of eating, but I realize that my body needs something to burn---and considering that I want to lose weight---I need to have energy to workout so that my body can burn calories, without ruining my metobolism, because its slow enough as it is. When I eat, it's only foods that my body needs and not foods that I'm craving. Before I used to give into the foods that I craved---I would promise myself that it would be the last but it never was. So now I do not buy that stuff---because even though I am not a huge fan of food---I have my binge foods. I'm not sure if everyone has a binge food but I do---chips and chocolate and cookies, so it is in my best interest to just avoid them like the plague. Today I probably won't be going on the treadmill because of my sore legs, I'll go on tomorrow and thursday--to make up for the lost day.

I'm about to drink my second cup of coffee of the morning. Usually I just have one cup, but this morning I aim to stay awake all through the day, so I am going to need some help from my friend===Caffine---hopefully this time my friend won't let me down. I worked out this morning like I usually do. I'm extremely serious about losing weight---not that I wasn't before. But now I am actually doing something about it everyday. I do my floor workouts and treadmill five days a week, and then I do slight weight training two times a week. So far it's been a week, I haven't seen any results as of yet. But I am sure that eventually I will see some results. I don't know how many calories I consumed this morning--the morning---before I workout, or late at night before I work out, is about the only time that I eat nowadays. To be honest, I am not a big fan of food. Yet I love to cook it. Because I get bored, and I hate seeing food go to waste. A lot of times I make up things as I go along. I'm not aiming to be a profesional cook, so I know my cooking doesn't need to be perfect. I tried a dish last night, that didn't go over to well with me, so I won't be making it again. I enjoy cooking, and shopping for food, more so than I like eating food. Which is different for me, because I used to love eating food. But not anymore, the taste of food just doesn't appeal to me. I have this constant full feeling, the only reason I eat anymore===is to give me energy for my workouts. I used to love eating candy and chips, now I can't stand them, I especially do not like chocolate chip cookies. If I do eat, it's always in small porpotions. I would rather not eat fast food. Because it's just not good for you. My mind is constantly consumed with weight loss. I should get a scale to see exactly how much I weigh. I remember the last time I stepped on the scale was five years ago, I weight 70 kilo's. I have no idea what I weigh now. But I'm sure if I find out it will give me a bigger push to lose the weight. So I am waiting to get a scale. I used to be one of those people who whined and cried about thier weight to others, now I'm doing something about it. I have gone through bouts of eating disorders, and truth be told, I didn't just start hating food, it started when I was thirteen, or more likely when I was seven. I recall asking my mom one day if I was fat. Now when I look back and watch video's of myself when I was seven---I was extremely skinny. So I have never looked in the mirror and saw myself as being anything other than fat. I have always felt the need to lose weight, no matter what others would say. When I turned thirteen, I obviously gained weight, and then I wanted to lose weight so that I would look good in my clothes, so I would just eat dried bacon bits, when I was fourteen, I would just toy with my food during dinner, and just have a sandwich and diet moutain dew in the afternoon, plus I would walk all the time,at one point I started purging whatever I ate, I couldn't stand to have food in my stomach. When I was fifteen, I would binge and purge, almost everyday--that's when the Bulimia came into the picture. I gained instead of losing weight---I attribute it to my constant consumtion of sugary chewing gum. Finally I decided that I wanted to lose weight, and went from a size 12 to a size 2 in eight months. I hated being fat, I hated wearing a large. So I would eat next to nothing, then I would purge whatever I eat and workout like mad everyday, plus I drank coffee all the time---coffee was the replacement to chewing gum. My parents got worried and took my coffee away, I promised to eat normally---for me----and they once again agreed to bring back the coffee. Now I'm back to drinking coffee again. Becuase it leaves a taste in my mouth that keeps me from eating. Because even though I'm not a huge fan of food, I do eat, but I eat as little as possibly, and workout. Because I know that in order to lose weight, you have to burn more calories than you take in. For me the binging and purging ended when I was nineteen. But my struggle to lose weight, and see myself as a skinny person, when I do lose weight is still ongoing.