I want my future children---God willing if I ever have children. Which I have a fear that I won't be able to have children---We all have our fears. Anyway, I would like them have differen names, I'm not saying they have to be strange names but they have to be unique names. I've written a list of potential names I have in my mind. Knowing me, by the time I actually have a baby---probably in the very far future---I won't use any of the names I've chosen. I honestly want to be the one to name the children.

today I woke up at five seventeen, I could have watched the daughters of Adam, but I decided to take a shower instead.

Today I got a pair of nude heels. I usually always buy black heels. But this time I decided that I would get something different. These are the last pair of heels I'm buying--for a while, or till I really and seriously need to get a new pair.

I have found an online law program that is geared toward students with international degrees in law. And sense I have an international degree in law--well the transcript to one----when we took it in, they said that there was something wrong with the Grades---whatever the heck that means. I'm hoping they'll except that. Or I'm just going to send my transcript to the other school, which told me to send in my transcript. I'm hoping that I can solve the problem with this school soon. Whenever I tell them that I have already completed the program I get the same thing, the same response, it's like they only have that one response to send out, so I'm just going to send them the papers that I have--along with an email, and see what happens from there, but first I need to get my scanner fixed.

Books

I'm currently reading the following books:
The woman who attracted money----a book my dad gave me.
Shopaholic and sister.
Twenties girl.
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my favorite book out of the three, is Shopaholic and Sister.
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Twenties girl---is very interesting---especially the parts where the ghost of her great aunt is yelling in peoples ears to get them to do what she wants them to do,
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The woman who attracted money----is okay----though I don't think I would miss it, if I ever lost it, or traded it for another book.
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in bed I enjoy reading Meg Cabbot books.

Alright---I can either send all my papers to the American university of London, and pay extra for a new professor, or I can just send my transcript to MUST university---online. I'm thinking between sending everything to the American university of London, except that I don't have all of the invoices with me, and thus I might end up owning them a lot more than I actually owe them, I'm thinking they ought to have all the paid bills on record. I'm hoping that my dad or mom will find the remainig invoices at home. Becasuse I don't have any of them with me. I rememember seeing them at home. Anyway, I will send what I have--once the scanner is in working order, and I'll see how much I owe, to complete the program and get my degree. Now on the other hand I can start with a Bacholors program--in the other university, but the only downfall is that I don't understand how the program works. But that's something that can be dealt with. The good point of MUST university is everything is done online, while the other university, everything is done offline, but sense I'll be gong through the university directly and not the affilate---so it will probably be online---i'm not sure, if I should complete my course with the American univesity, or if I should start over in a new university---, if i can't find the rest of the invoices I'll just have to pay the difference, or start over in another university.

My televison reciever is getting on my nerves, I cannot channel surf, without it freezing on me. And so I've opted to just keep it on one channel for one half of the day, and then change it to another channel the other half of the day, or sometimes i change it to a third channel---depending on the day, and the time, or a fourth channel, but no more than four channels, because if i change channels more than four times---go through four channels, it'll freeze, i know because i've done it plenty of times and i've gotten the same results----a frozen reciver---which has to be switched on and then switched back again, I really want to get Showtime. I could switch from channel to channel without it freezing, but if not showtime, than at least a different reciver.

Last night was a very nerve recking day. It's been so long sense I inflicted harm on myself, I was in such a fit of range that all I saw was red. I don't like when I get that day. I know that it's not good, I just get so frustraited about everything, I get sick and tired, of making what I need clear, and not getting what I need. Sometimes I think that everybody elses needs matter over my needs, and thatI just have to cater to everybody elses needs, and my needs are rarely ever met.

Even after all of these years, it gets me that my dad was far stricter with me than he's being with my sister. This is how it goes with my family now, my mom can pretty much do whatever she wants to do---within in reason----like for example if she doesn't want to do something--like covering for example she doesn't have to because my dad is not going to make her---because he cares more about her feelings than about doing what's righ, so now sense she doesn't cover---my dad can't use her as an excuse to make my sister cover---that's the excuse my dad would give me, but I was still expected to cover even if my mom wasn't around, whereas my sister is not expected to cover, even when my mom is around---of course that's because my mom doesn't cover. At times I wish I had the same freedoms that my mom and sister have---not that I would nessiarly take them, but to do know that you have them is a good feeling.

The Pact: by Jodi Picoult

The pact is a love story about a girl named Emily and a boy named Chris. Emily and Chris grew up together, thier families were next door neighbors, they spent a lot of time in each other's homes so that it was only natural that they became an item. Emily had her reservations about dating Chris because she thought of him as her brother,but Chris loved Emily, and Emily knowing that her breaking up with Chris would break his heart, didn't break up with him.However when she found out that she was pregnant with his baby, she knew that her only option was to either marry him, because that's what he'd want to do if he knew about the baby or have an abortion and not tell him. One day she decided to end it all, and had turned to Chris for help. Chris helped her,but at the last minute he grabbed the gun from her hand, because he couldn't stand to watch her, throw her life away,but Emily had already made up her mind, she forced Chris to shoot her in the head, she grabbed his gun holding hand and pressed it to her head, and with her hand over his she pulled the trigger, shortly after Chris fainted, and before he knew it he was being hauled off to the ER, a short while later, he was arrested till his hearing. Emily's mother accused Chris for her daughters death, while Emily's father, did not blame him. He supported his mother in getting him out of prison and proving his innonce, which they finally do at the end of the story. However after everything is over, the family are no longer close friends.