I hate it when someone says they are worried about me being in the house too much. and I just think to myself, "Well if your so darn worried about me, staying at home all the time, then why don't you make it a habbit to take me out everyweekend, just because I'm not a little kid, it doesn't mean that I don't need to get out and breath some fresh air," but I never say this, because I realize all the pressure he's going through, and so I just let it go, and I usually don't say anything. there are days where I'll really want to go somewhere, and I'll call, and get a negative response, and then, I'll wait a week, and that week rolls around, and I'll wait for another week.

Now the only time that I go out is for job interviews. I haven't had any interviews yet, and I'm nervous about sending my resume to any company, until I have completely resolved the issue with my university.
I don't want my only outlet to be work, and home, I want to go to the mall, I want to take walks in the park, I miss that huge park, my dad used to take, me and my siblings to, before we moved back to Dammam.

There are times, well all the time, when I wish my husband would offer to take me out walking with him. and besides, if he goes one way, and I go the other way, then he can still have his personal time. Why should I always be the one that always has to compromise by working out on the treadmill, while he's the one that can go walking in the nice fresh air.

of course now the weather is hot and dry----there's no body of water to make it humid, and thus it probably wouldn't be a good idea to go walking in the park, however, there are malls.

Oh god, how I miss going to the mall, I wish we could make it a habit to go to the mall, at least once a week.

It's Friday---just another day of the week. and I am bored, so bored. sometimes I feel like having a baby----just to busy myself. but then I realize that taking care of a baby would take a lot of effort and a lot of patience, and if the baby got on my nerves, I wouldn't have anyone, I could call and ask, to watch the baby for a while. No I would be on my own, and I couldn't exactly call up my husband and ask him to drop his work, and come and take the baby off my hands.
one day, I want to have a baby---when I see babies, my heart longs for one, but like I said before----I don't feel ready to have a baby, I want to do some reading about babies and babycare, and how to keep mentally sane, while being around a baby, that cries constantly.

my mom tells me as a baby, I cried all the time. she and my dad would argue about whether or not someone should come and pick me up, my dad usually won those battles. I can't help but wonder, if I'm a very emotional person---quick to cry because of that. sometimes I wonder, if I would've grown up to be a calm person, had I been left to cry myself to sleep when I was a baby. when my mom suggested that I be left alone to cry myself asleep, it would be after I had been held, bathed, changed, and fed, and cuddled.
but obviously I was a very needy baby, I always needed to be held, I needed attention. if I didn't get attention, I would scream my lungs out.