Las vegas is back on Mbc Action, so I watched that this afternoon. After Las Vegas, I watched, well actually I forgot what I watched. Anyway, right now I'm watching. The Fallen leafs, an arabic series, well techinancally, a turkish series, dubbed in arabic. which is just as well, sense I do not speak, or understand a single word of turkish.

Last night I watched, a little bit of a French movie, with english and arabic subtiles, it would be nice if they didn't break into song and dance ever so often.

the movie was about these eight women, who live in this huge house. One of the girls, fakes her father's death, and everyone starts accusing each other. Her sister, finds out that thier mother had an affair, and she and her sister, do not share the same father. towards the end of the movie, the sister---admits that it was all an act, and that, the father, was still alive and well, but then when she went back to his room, her father, shot himself, and with that, well after a song, and a few more words----not sure about the last part, because I changed the channel, at that point.

Afterwhich, I watched CSI Las Vegas-----one of the CSI's lab techinichians, decided to reopen, the miniture, murderer. a man, that makes minitures, of the murder scense---before he actually commits the murder. 

CSI miami, was a rerun, so I didn't watch it, especially sense it was a fresh rerun.

shows

I am watching a new series on Fox called the Secratery, about a colombian man, who finds out that his has a daughter in Columbia, and so he moves from New York, to Colombia and he accepts a job as a secratery, in order to make money, so that he can financially take care of his daughter.  His daughter lives with her mother, and her mother's husband. Her mother,and father never married.

Another show I'm watching is between love and fear:  about a girl who goes into hiding from her husband, who used to treat her very badly, now he knows that she's alive. The only problem is that, while he thought that she was dead, he went and got married to another women.

another show I'm following is the price of my life: the last episode, of this season, is when gamar's husband found out for sure that he did not father his son. it turns out that Gamar, had been raped by her husbands brother in law, and thus the baby is his. but she had kept it a secret, because she didn't want any trouble.

Then there's the Turkish version of Desperate Housewifes----the exact same storie, with a few slight changes. The turkish Bree's husband died, but not because she poisned him, but because his pharmacist, who happened to be the turkish bree's ex finance----hated her husband, so he purposely gave him the wrong pills.

Master Chef Australia----is down to two contestants----Kate and Michael. I already know who is going to win, because these are reruns.

Master Chef Australia Jr. eight have gone through to the next level.

I want to get married.  this is another show that I've seen before, but I enjoy watching it anyway.

CSI----is my favorite, as well as Criminal minds, The amazing race.

Gossip girl

I am currently reading, Shopaholic abroad outloud. there's a postive side of not having a working tv. and that is that I can read without being distracted-----and I can listen to my tapes. Lately I have been listening to the biography of the prophet-----it turns out that he was posioned. That's what I understood. Anyway, it's all very interesting. I'm almost through listening to it. I haven't decided what I will listen to yet. Maybe about the day of Judgment---or some Quran recitation. I have already completed reading the Quran---my first time this year, and my first time, i have completed it cover to cover---outside of the holy month. My prayers aren't going so well though. This is a constant struggle, I was born muslim---and yet I still struggle. I have good days and I have bad days.

I have printed out all of the needed papers for immigration, so that my husband can see for himself, exactly why I cannot sponsor him to immigrate to America. And so he doesn't think that I just don't want him to go to America. Why would I stop anyone from going to America? if he wants to go to America and he can find a way to go to America, fine with me. It honestly made me feel so angry when he said that. I hate having to constantly repeat myself, now I have the papers all ready, and everything. It turns out that just being married to an American is not enough to be able to immigrate to America and get the green card. I don't know why I get this gut feeling that I am only a convince for my husband, It's probably just the devil speaaking. Anyway, So I have already done what I can do. What confuses me is that they say you can send the I-130 application from outside of the united states and its terrotories, but you have to pay them by money order from an American bank, how am I supposed to do that from where I live. So on the website it says to contact your nearest embassy to find out how you can pay for the petion. So I emailed the embassy and told them that I need to pay for the i-130 petition, which I will be sending directly to America---to the united states citzen and imigration services, and I am waiting for a reply. I hope that if I can at least do that, we can figure the rest later. Except the Afvidativ of support, that is the biggest issue. Because while my husband can be a joint sponsor, I have to show that I to get sponsor him. And I have to prove that I have paid three years worth of taxes. Am I just supposed to go to America for three years, work, so that I will be able to pay taxes. And then what is going to guarantee me, that I will even be able to find work in America? Especially with how the economy is going. God help me.

"I can give you the money to pay the taxes." "It doesn't work like that I need to have a job, and I need to show that I have paid taxes in the last three years." "You can be a joint sponsor-----meaning you can add your income to my income, but as it points out---I need to have my own income." "Which I obviously don't have, sense I don't have a job." "I need to have a permenant job, (the money I make and the money you make----) both need to come from the same source, after we have immigrated.) So if I get a job over here, and we go to America, I will have to leave my job over here and get a job over there, and you would have to do the same thing, meaning that requirment won't work. "MY friend is telling me one thing, and the lawyer is telling me another thing, and you are telling me yet another thing." "I am only telling you that I cannot sponsor you, I have told you the reasons why." "I don't think you want me to immigrate to America." "I did not say that, I just said that I cannot sponsor you." "What about business based forms, where you can sponsor yourself." "I don't need that." "See you are depending on me to help you, I'm giving you a way that you can go to America, without me having to sponsor you, and you are completely against it." "Just type up all the requirments that is needed, the most important form is the family based form." "Fine, but I keep on telling you, I cannot sponsor you." "Please just type up the requirmeents needed print them out, and we can discuss them later." "Fine," "I get the feeling that you don't want to do this." "That is not it, I have been through this so many times, and I have told you that I cannot sponsor you." "You and your father are wrong if you think that America is a dream to me." "Don't put words in my mouth, I don't know what my father said, but I never once thought that America was the dream place for you." "My friends are telling me that I need to protect myself, America will protect me." "God is the protector."

I was going to call my husband today, and just agree to have Breakfast together once a week on Saturday, but then I decided against it, and just decided that I would just call and see how he was doing, and it turns out that he was already at work. What the hell? I send him a message at seven in my morning, and he just goes to work!!! I mean I understand that he's under a lot of pressure, but he's the one who suggested that we have breakfast together every morning except for Thursday and Friday's. and now he's only having breakfast with me on saturday, this is just getting on my nerves.

frustrated with myself

I hate to admit this,but I can be slow sometimes or at least of delayed reactations to things. I guess, well no I don't want to guess. Because I don't know what to guess. I mean, I'll see something on tv for example or someone will say something, and I will think nothing of it, and then suddenly after some days, sometimes months, I'll find myself thinking about what was said or what I had seen and I'll sudden understand what the other person meant. I am finding this very frustraited. Because a lot of times, I will be focusing on what the person is saying, without really understanding what they mean or on what's happening on tv, or in a book, and then I forget about it, or I ponder over it, and come up with a conclusion some days later. I guess it's really no surprise that I always needed extra help in school. I hate to call myself stupid. But right now I do feel stupid and what's worse, is that I feel slow. This really isn't easy to admit. I'm not saying that I want to be perfect. because I know that is impossible, no one, can be perfect. All I want is to be able to grasp and understand situations as they arrise. To understand things I've read, things I've heard, without having to ponder over it for days till it finally clicks. I hate when people give me annoyed looks when I don't grasp what they are saying at first even though I will be trying my best to understand what they are saying. I don't know if anyone will understand this. I'm banking on no. But if your someone out there who understands what I'm going through, then I can honestly say that you are not alone. I get frustraited with myself at times. Frustraited that I forget words, forgot what I'm going to say in midsentence, and quickly move on to an other idea, while leaving the first idea just hanging there. I sometimes remember what I was going to say, and go back to the orginal topic and sometimes I don't. In fact a lot of times I don't go back to the orginal idea. I love reading, but I cannot remember anything that I read while I'm reading. I'll read a story without any distractions and I will still forget the names of most of the characters and thier storylines. I start my own stories, and sometimes forget what the story is supposed to be about. It's a work in progress. I didn't make a resoultion list this year but I am going to start one, My goal, is to do my best to grasp situations faster.