I feel so bored I don't even feel like watching television. Even though I'm missing one of my favorite series right now. I just want to go back home. So I'm thinking of going back with my dad, if I don't hear anything from him indicating when he can come and get me by tommorrow, I think from last Friday till thursday is plenty of time for him to figure out when he can come and get me. So I'm not going to ask him today if he has any idea as to when he can come, though I'm extremely tempted to do so. Instead I am just going to wait till tomorow. Anyway, that's pretty much all I've got to say right now.

I think enough is enough, I want to get back home. and today or tomorrow I am going to ensure that I get back home as soon as humanly possible.

I'm looking for a job. Because I'm getting bored of just sitting at home and reading. I wouldn't mind doing some translations, or even prove reading. Hell I wouldn't even mind working in a school, at this point I have given up on the idea of me finding a job in an international law firm here in the kingdom, though I will contiue to send out of my CV to various firms and hope that I get a postive response from one of them. It has been suggested that I work in an Embassy, I however do not wish to work for one.

The elctricty is back. Now I have a new thing to worry about my husband. Leave it to me to find something to worry about. Inshallah I will hear from him soon.

I cleaned the apartment---ate and got sick---Not on purpose though. After I let my stomach rest for a while---I did some simple workouts---crunches and sit ups, though my stomache is still feeling quesy. I don't know why food does this to my body. Truth be told I'm not a big fan of eating, but I realize that my body needs something to burn---and considering that I want to lose weight---I need to have energy to workout so that my body can burn calories, without ruining my metobolism, because its slow enough as it is. When I eat, it's only foods that my body needs and not foods that I'm craving. Before I used to give into the foods that I craved---I would promise myself that it would be the last but it never was. So now I do not buy that stuff---because even though I am not a huge fan of food---I have my binge foods. I'm not sure if everyone has a binge food but I do---chips and chocolate and cookies, so it is in my best interest to just avoid them like the plague. Today I probably won't be going on the treadmill because of my sore legs, I'll go on tomorrow and thursday--to make up for the lost day.

I'm about to drink my second cup of coffee of the morning. Usually I just have one cup, but this morning I aim to stay awake all through the day, so I am going to need some help from my friend===Caffine---hopefully this time my friend won't let me down. I worked out this morning like I usually do. I'm extremely serious about losing weight---not that I wasn't before. But now I am actually doing something about it everyday. I do my floor workouts and treadmill five days a week, and then I do slight weight training two times a week. So far it's been a week, I haven't seen any results as of yet. But I am sure that eventually I will see some results. I don't know how many calories I consumed this morning--the morning---before I workout, or late at night before I work out, is about the only time that I eat nowadays. To be honest, I am not a big fan of food. Yet I love to cook it. Because I get bored, and I hate seeing food go to waste. A lot of times I make up things as I go along. I'm not aiming to be a profesional cook, so I know my cooking doesn't need to be perfect. I tried a dish last night, that didn't go over to well with me, so I won't be making it again. I enjoy cooking, and shopping for food, more so than I like eating food. Which is different for me, because I used to love eating food. But not anymore, the taste of food just doesn't appeal to me. I have this constant full feeling, the only reason I eat anymore===is to give me energy for my workouts. I used to love eating candy and chips, now I can't stand them, I especially do not like chocolate chip cookies. If I do eat, it's always in small porpotions. I would rather not eat fast food. Because it's just not good for you. My mind is constantly consumed with weight loss. I should get a scale to see exactly how much I weigh. I remember the last time I stepped on the scale was five years ago, I weight 70 kilo's. I have no idea what I weigh now. But I'm sure if I find out it will give me a bigger push to lose the weight. So I am waiting to get a scale. I used to be one of those people who whined and cried about thier weight to others, now I'm doing something about it. I have gone through bouts of eating disorders, and truth be told, I didn't just start hating food, it started when I was thirteen, or more likely when I was seven. I recall asking my mom one day if I was fat. Now when I look back and watch video's of myself when I was seven---I was extremely skinny. So I have never looked in the mirror and saw myself as being anything other than fat. I have always felt the need to lose weight, no matter what others would say. When I turned thirteen, I obviously gained weight, and then I wanted to lose weight so that I would look good in my clothes, so I would just eat dried bacon bits, when I was fourteen, I would just toy with my food during dinner, and just have a sandwich and diet moutain dew in the afternoon, plus I would walk all the time,at one point I started purging whatever I ate, I couldn't stand to have food in my stomach. When I was fifteen, I would binge and purge, almost everyday--that's when the Bulimia came into the picture. I gained instead of losing weight---I attribute it to my constant consumtion of sugary chewing gum. Finally I decided that I wanted to lose weight, and went from a size 12 to a size 2 in eight months. I hated being fat, I hated wearing a large. So I would eat next to nothing, then I would purge whatever I eat and workout like mad everyday, plus I drank coffee all the time---coffee was the replacement to chewing gum. My parents got worried and took my coffee away, I promised to eat normally---for me----and they once again agreed to bring back the coffee. Now I'm back to drinking coffee again. Becuase it leaves a taste in my mouth that keeps me from eating. Because even though I'm not a huge fan of food, I do eat, but I eat as little as possibly, and workout. Because I know that in order to lose weight, you have to burn more calories than you take in. For me the binging and purging ended when I was nineteen. But my struggle to lose weight, and see myself as a skinny person, when I do lose weight is still ongoing.