very annoyed

I'm feeling very sick and annoyed right now. I want to leave this country. Everybody I know is leavin this country. Either they are leaving or they are going to leave. But no I'm just stuck in this country. Stuck in the same box. I hate it when people tell me that you should leave the country, to get out of the box. But they don't take you. They just keep you hoping that they'll take you, but they never do. And I hate that. I hate that he gets to go to Syria practically every month, or every other month, and I have to stay stuck here, in KSA, I just want to go out of the box. That is why I feel so annoyed right now. Plus I'm not feeling that good either. I think I'm coming down with a flu, cause I have a headache, a slight stomach ache, and my bones are sore. Anyway, He'll be going to Syria, sometime next week inshallah, I really hope I can find a job before he goes to Syria, so at least I won't be stuck at home all the time. You know I'd have a job to do, even though it's going to be a job, within the same box, that I so desperately want to get out of. And I do not count spending ten hours in Bahrain, as getting out of the box, because when you go to Bahrain, all you see are Saudi's and I'm thinking I didn't leave Saudi to see more Saudi's. But times, I just feel so desperate to get out, that I don't see who I see on the other side as long as I get out of the box. That's what I want to do I want to get out of the box. I'm hoping that during the Summer I'll get a chance to get out of the box. There's been some talk about going to China, though I don't know when that is going to be. I'm hoping that after Jeddah,we're supposed to stay there for three weeks, inshallah, I could probably go visit my Aunt,and cousins, anyway, I was thinking that we could stop by in Dubai, or Bahrain, on our way back. Yeah, like that;s going to happen. I might as well just own up to the fact that I'm going to be stuck in this box, for a really long time. And I hate it. I hate watching people leave, and come, and go as they please, and here I am just stuck here. And once I start visiting or people start visiting me, all they'll ask, "Do you travel anywhere during the summer?"
"No." "Why not?" "Ask my husband."

Right now I'm feeling bored. Bored and fat, so I'm excerising. Taking a break from exersising now to type here. I'm doing some reading as well, something to kill time, while I wait for the Youtube video's to upload, sometimes they take a really long time to load. I played three games of chess yesterday, and won all three games, I must say I'm getting much better at playing this game. So far I've done about three hours of workouts. But I've been taking small breaks, so that's no so bad. I haven't had any diet drinks in such a long time. I think the last time I had a diet drink was somewhere in the middle of December, or maybe before. It feels good. When I went to Applebee's when my brother came to visit, I got juice, I always order Juice from Applebee's, I love thier selections. I got some Hair oil, because my hair tends to get really dry. But I don't know whether your supposed to put it in, before you shower, or after. I remember I got my hair styled in Jeddah, and the lady mentioned something about using hair oil after the shower, and not washing it out, so I think
I'll do that.

Watched Bride Wars, liked it.
Watched Bridge to Terabethia, liked it to. But found it kind of sad.

8

Okay, no one reads this blog anyway, so if I make mistkates, it doesn't really matter. I suppose having a non famous blog does have it's bright side. I was half expecting to recive some stupid comment on my last post, or any of the posts that I've put up. In other news, mashallah, my friend's baby girl, just keeps on getting cuter, she looks so smart to, like she knows, what people are talking about. Anyway, I love babies, but find them intimitating. I guess that's weird. My sister held my friends baby girl, I didn't hold her. The only babies I've held, where my cousin's baby's, my siblings and that's all. I remember when I was five, and had the chicken pox, it was on the holiday's, my brother got me a really cute cloth doll, I miss that doll, it was one of my favorite dolls, sense I got married, I gave my dolls to my sister, and the rest, have gone to my mom's room, on top of that one closet, that we store junk in. Anyway, my dad's in town so I might see him tomorrow. I really want to get a job. I'm supposed to be getting job applications tomorrow, or the day after, or whenever. The thing is that I want to work, but I don't know what I would be quilifed to do? Because I've never had a job before, and I took a career test once and found out that, I'd be really good at writing. But I don't beleive that, my writing, isn't half as good as the books that I read. At the same time though, it has gotten better over the years. I'm working on some new novels these days, I have some other ones, saved on a hard drive, from my former laptop, that I heard is now
Working again, I told my mom that she could feel free to use it, because, obviously I won't be using it. When I got it back, after my dad had taken it to the repair shop, they'd changed the cord that I'd used for it, I don't know why, my mouse wasn't working, and neither was the sound, I got so frustraited with the whole thing.
My mom is the person I turn to when I get really frustraited, but sense I've moved here, I don't always turn to my mom, cause usaully when I feel frustrated I don't feel like talking to anyone on the phone. So I just cry alot when I'm frustrated, or bored out of my mind, and there's nothing to do. Oh my husband told me yesterday, that, we live by a lot of nice stores, but they're all on the other side, if I have to cross any streets to get to them, then in my book they're not close. Close by car, okay, but not close enough for me to walk to. I don't know, sometimes I get the feeling that my other little brother, doesn't like me. I could be wrong about that, I hope I'm wrong about that. I really love black eye make-up, I just love how it makes the color of my eyes really pop out. it's like when I wear black eye make-up, my eyes, looking really brown, and not black, except, if I'm standing kind of far away, then my eyes look black. But they're really just dark brown. Some people call that honey color, but my eyes aren't honey colored. I want to go to the mall this weekend, I want him to take me out to a mall. But first I want to get some things that I need from Saco. I don't want to go to some cheap store, for kitchen stuff, that's only going to last a couple of months, I want to get the top quilty, so you pay now and save in the long run. I already got somethings, now I need to get other things. I have a ton of vegetables, I think tomorrow---today, I'm going to make some boiled potato's, I don't even know why he bought so many, it's not like I asked for any, oh why didn't I buy any salt? I have butter, but no salt? What was I thinking.D'oh, I wasn't thinking. I love watching the Simpson's I watch it everyday.
Yesterday they finally showed new epidoses, I was really glad about that. Um, what else? I should be getting a treadmill today inshallah. I really hope so. And I guess
tomorrow, my husband should tell me about his decision about moving. I'm for moving, but in the end it's going to be his choice, obviously.

980

A list of books I've finished, other than the books that I've already mentioned in either this blog or my other blog, Falling for you. I'm currently reading, Princess in Training, and the undomestic housekeeper. Reading that books makes me want to get Twenties girl. I'm hoping to go to Jareer sometime this year. Inshallah next Friday I want to go to Last chance, cause I need to get some winter pajama's.

2

I finally got some cleaning things for the apartment. My husband told me about an Apartment last night, and showed me the location of it, it's not that far from the apartment that we're staying in now. I like the location way better than this apartment, for one thing, there's stores down stairs, that I could go to if I need anything, plus it's in a quieter area, which I think is another plus. What I think makes it most worthwhile, is the fact that the rooms are bigger, our rooms are kind of small, kind of! they ARE small, and it has a kitchen already installed, sure it's not brand new, but what's the point of having a brand new apartment when you don't have a kitchen and you live in a bad area, that doesn't have any nearby stores? So yeah, I hope that he doesn't give up this chance, and takes it. Because we'd be paying the same price we're paying here, plus we'd save thousands on a new kitchen set from IKEA.

Here's how I think that the series---things that look like love---- is going to end--- I think that that, That Deena's going to have her wedding party, thier uncle is going to move back in with the family, Rabab, is going to get married to some guy.
As for the other series----under the madas---I don't know what that means, I'll have to ask my husband.
I already know that, Shadi has aids, his sister divorced her husband,
but here is what I guess is going to happen next, afafaf, is going to be killed. The doctor-- who she was married too---before he divorced her, because his mother didn't
think that she was good enough for him, is going to get married, to some other guy. The lady with the short hair is going to get married to the doctor.
Here's what I think of Afafaf's brother shooting her,, first of all, what good is
mudering your sister going to do? it's not going to make any difference, just like Sharar, said, his two sisters had done the same thing, and they had killed them, and it only made matters worse, and they ended up having to leave the little village that they where from and moving to another village...Second of all, she was married, sure it was only witnessed by a Shaik, but it was a marriage nonetheless, and Thafer had the papers, and Abu Zakwan knew that, but tore it up. But he was only interested in the money---I'm glad that he gets shot at the end of it.