very annoyed

I'm feeling very sick and annoyed right now. I want to leave this country. Everybody I know is leavin this country. Either they are leaving or they are going to leave. But no I'm just stuck in this country. Stuck in the same box. I hate it when people tell me that you should leave the country, to get out of the box. But they don't take you. They just keep you hoping that they'll take you, but they never do. And I hate that. I hate that he gets to go to Syria practically every month, or every other month, and I have to stay stuck here, in KSA, I just want to go out of the box. That is why I feel so annoyed right now. Plus I'm not feeling that good either. I think I'm coming down with a flu, cause I have a headache, a slight stomach ache, and my bones are sore. Anyway, He'll be going to Syria, sometime next week inshallah, I really hope I can find a job before he goes to Syria, so at least I won't be stuck at home all the time. You know I'd have a job to do, even though it's going to be a job, within the same box, that I so desperately want to get out of. And I do not count spending ten hours in Bahrain, as getting out of the box, because when you go to Bahrain, all you see are Saudi's and I'm thinking I didn't leave Saudi to see more Saudi's. But times, I just feel so desperate to get out, that I don't see who I see on the other side as long as I get out of the box. That's what I want to do I want to get out of the box. I'm hoping that during the Summer I'll get a chance to get out of the box. There's been some talk about going to China, though I don't know when that is going to be. I'm hoping that after Jeddah,we're supposed to stay there for three weeks, inshallah, I could probably go visit my Aunt,and cousins, anyway, I was thinking that we could stop by in Dubai, or Bahrain, on our way back. Yeah, like that;s going to happen. I might as well just own up to the fact that I'm going to be stuck in this box, for a really long time. And I hate it. I hate watching people leave, and come, and go as they please, and here I am just stuck here. And once I start visiting or people start visiting me, all they'll ask, "Do you travel anywhere during the summer?"
"No." "Why not?" "Ask my husband."